Rugby World Cup
 

Dear Wife,

1. From 9 September to 23 October, 2011, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the Rugby World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the Rugby World Cup, the television is mine, MySky, the VCR and DVD are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it.

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor… it won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two 12 packs of stubbies in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please, if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say ‘get over it, it’s only a game’, or ‘don’t worry, they’ll win next time’. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about rugby than me and your so called ‘words of encouragement’ will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime, but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note, I am saying ‘one’ game; hence do not use the Rugby World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to ‘spend time together’..

8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times, and record them.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a. I will not go,
b. I will not go, and
c. I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying, ‘But you have already seen this… why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?’

12. Please save your expressions such as, ‘Thank goodness the Rugby World Cup is only every four years’. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the reruns of the Rugby World Cup, etc, etc.

13. And finally, if you are female and your “man” likes rugby less than you, he is not a real man and shall be bound by these rules and additionally be referred to as “the bitch” for the duration of the Rugby World Cup.

Thank you for your cooperation.


Regards,
Your husband

Hmm
 

It always amazes me that the KIWIS crow about their team.

It's a religion over there with about 3 million players . When they beat us , which happens mostly, they are actually playing against a team that is comprised of players from about a dozen private schools in the Sydney and Brisbane areas. :whinge

Special Edition
 

Holden New Zealand have released the "All Black" edition Commodore. Comes with an automatic choke.

There. My total football joke repitior is now on display.:blink:

Choke joke
 

:yappy:Good one, like it. I was downtown Auckland for the opening party, by the numbers present I think half of the North Island was there. Been quite a few negatives surrounding the public transport debacle on the night but besides that its great to be part of something positive for once. Of note are the numbers of international fans present. For our North American friends Canada and USA are here playing. Check out the opening ceremony on youtube. Go the all Blacks. sorry couldn't help myself :D

Well I am one of those odd kiwis,I couldnt give a toss about rugby even though i used to play the game,more important things to do now days

Other things
 

Excellent point Kenney. You could choose instead to watch "Year of the Blitz" 1 and 2.

Now your talking Keith HaHaHa!

Bugger the rugby!
 

The AFL finals are on....Carn the cats!!!!!!

Oh Canada!
 

Congrat's to the Canadians.

Should be very proud lads. Your boys beat Tonga today 25 to 20.

Very good win, most of the Tongan side play in the best provincial competition in the world. (Super Rugby).

Go the Grizzlies

Good one, Ryan, GO CATS!!!!!

rugby
 

Ill not mention Scotland then cheers malcolm :note: :note: :note:

Yesterday Tonga thrashed France. YYYYAAAAAA!!!! and currently NZ versus Canada.
All Blacks 25 Canada 3 as I write. Canada put its 3 points on the board first. Make that 32-3

Unjury
 

Whats happened to Dan Carter at kicking practice lads??

Is he really hurt or is it mind games.??

Tony
 

He has ripped a muscle away in his groin. He is out for the rest of the world cup. A real shame. He deserves to be there if anyone does. Richie is not playing. he has a foot injury.
Canada are playing well, and the AB's are letting them through too often.
i'm not sure they'll know what to do when they have to play a hard game.
The Samoa/ South Africa game was a great game. It's a shame Samoa lost because they played with flare, and put a hell of a lot of pressure on S.A. through the whole game.
Currently Can. NZ. game 65 to 15. 11 minutes to go.

Final score 79 to 15.
I must say the Canadians played very well. Score aside it was a good game to watch.
The Canadian captain hit his head hard with an all black head.
He played a big game. I hope he's o.k.

Blimmin' Heck
 

I dont know how we managed to pull it off... But we beat the Bok's.

You little Beaewty!!!

Now the big one - beating "The Blacks".

Ken, Lynn and co. how about a friendly wager?

Sayy... a carton of Speight's?

Oh no drink speights and lose your mates!! NZ Tui beer is better,or a few DB draughts

That "b" word
 

Het Tony

Careeful mate you will go straight to hell in this country using a word like" Black" shit, shouldn't have used that word, looks like I will be there with you, hope there is plenty of beer and a working TV. :devil:

Cheers

Tony :no4:

Really??
 

I'd better give my Kiwi mate from Lumsden a kick in the proverbial when I see him next. Thats all we were allowed to drink when we were down there.

"Pride of the South"... Eh Bro? :drunk:

No worries, Tui or DB Draught it is.

Just had a look at "The Star" (One of South Africa's newspapers). No surprises to guess they think they were robbed. :D

I dont think Brian Lawerence (the Referee) will be welcome over there for a while.

It's the way you say it, I guess.
 

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the
only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

LOL. Sweet as bro

A few more hours and the big rugger match will be all on. The 2 best teams in the world to clash to see who will play the French in the final for the World Cup, (the winner tonight has it in the bag). Australia hasn't won a game against the AB's at Eden Park since 1986, here's hoping that wont change as this game will be down to the wire.

Rugby
 

An excellent result David. I have never seen so much blood in any game. Well done the AB's
I have enjoyed all the games I have watched.
I think the less favoured teams have played very well, and the large points gaps did not fairly reflect their efforts. Well done Samoa, Canada, and Argentina!

Well done NZ..
 

Lynn..
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blacks-beat...114441053.html
Now that NZ has relieved the Aussies of their rugby problems..the Aussies have another problem that is of a real Concern..

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/odd-2...-26956636.html
:drunk: :kangaroo :sheep: :cheers:

Deafening Silence
 

Tony! Where are you? :giveup

For a country that has two seasons, ponds too soft to skate or too hard to fish, we seem to do OK for ourselves in some sports. The national game of hockey is not doing too well on account of roughness, injury and fighting, and that is just for girls' hockey.

Of the summer field sports, round ball soccer and pointy ball football do well. Surprisingly, Ultimate Frisbee is loads of fun to watch and play. Rugby has a good following, and is well attended in schools. Field hockey gets little attention; the sticks are wrong. Cricket is isolated to South Asian and Carribbean circles. Hardball baseball and softball are fun, but there is enough professional ball on TV to lose my interest. So, if an Aussie recognizes a good Canadian rugby effort, I'll take that as a compliment to a distracted nation that has lots of choices. If only we could put our minds to it full time ....

Hi Terry. I think you'll find not to far in the distant future that North American Rugby Teams will be up there with the 1st tier teams, as with professional players well and truly entrenched around the globe the level of experience and skill can only grow.It only takes the grass root games to catch on with the public and Bob's your uncle. I was speaking to a recent immigrant from Russia last week and he told me that Rugby is really starting to gain favour there, even to the point where some schools are fielding teams. I think it was a BBC correspondent at the beginning of the tournament asked, why don't the Pacific Island nations field a combined team for the tournament. The reply was "there is , there called the All Blacks" :D

Terry/ Tony / David
 

Terry, I'm a Kiwi. Does that make the compliment better or worse?
Tony, I'm not usually a gambler.
David, have a look at the Aussie team,have a look at the English team. Those pacific island guys are filling gaps in teams around the world.

Bugger!
 

Sorry for being so slow to reply., but it is very hard to be gracious sometimes and now is one of those times. :doh: :bang: :doh: :bang: :doh: :bang: :doh: :bang:

So......congratulations to the All Blacks, (you guys have no idea how hard it is to say that) good luck in the final. I suppose we can say weve won two.... you guys are catching up.

Lynn, a bet is a bet and I lost. So its a few cartons of NZ's finest whenever I visit over there again (or if you blokes come over here). :cheers:

To Terry and the rest of the Canucks I think youll find if you go back through Canada's sporting history. You guys were as strong in Rugby as any of Britians colonies once....including the All Blacks.

I will watch the final (cause I just love the game) with equal interest as well. Not too mention the Wallabies have some Welshmen to maime for the bronze medal.

See ,you would have had lost another doz of beer if we had bet, Tony.just as well we didnt eh.Really i dont know enough about rugby today at all ,to at least bet on it.