Hi
I too must apologive for not being around here much.
Can I make it up to you with this joke?
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk Samoan led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall. 
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked. 
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Maori clock' he drunkenly replied. 
'A talking Maori clock - seriously?' 
'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).' 
'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it. 
'Just watch' he said. 
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back. 
His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence. 
Suddenly, a Maori voice from the other side of the wall screamed, 
'For f*#k's sake, you stupid coconut . It's ten past three in the f*#king morning !!!'
I got it as an email from a fellow Canuck who, as far as I know has no Samoan or Maori connections. 
regards
Darrell