[Howard]

POSSUM A LA BOARD

1 large possum
1 oak board
12 cloves garlic (to kill smell)
4 onions (in case garlic doesn't work)
200g meat tenderizer (if he has dodged enough cars to become "large", he'll be tough)
100g bread crumbs (to catch all possum grease)

Place oak board on table. Put bread crumbs on it and place possum in middle of bread crumbs. (No butter, it's greasy enough)Do not preheat oven. You want to delay the smell as long as possible.
Cook 1 1/2 hours at 200 degrees c - longer if extra large possum. Take out of oven. Place in zip-loc bag. Place in garbage can and eat the oak board. It will be better than the possum.