Quote:
Originally posted by sapper740
I forced a meeting of the Board of Directors to finally put an end to this little brouhaha. They seemed loathe to have a face to face meeting with me, just preferred to sic their hired dogs and lawyers on me. Well, I did my research and also consulted a lawyer re: powers of Home Owners Associations and what can be done when they exceed them. Fortunately in Texas much is given to property rights and rights of property owners. Except in cases of Eminent Domain, laws are to be intepreted with a bias to being as liberal as possible to the property owner's rights. Fore-warned is to be fore-armed so I met with the B.O.D., the property manager and their lawyer. The lawyer wanted to dominate the discussion and of course, tried to intimidate me with legal jargon, quoting the law, and such like. I stood my ground, as I am not in violation of any restriction or covenant. The lawyer then changed tack, telling me that "12 or 15" other homeowners had complained about my truck and shouldn't I be concerned for their sensibilities? My response was that 12 or 15 of 86 homes puts them in a minority and no, I wasn't the least bit concerned about their opinions of my truck. I also informed them that I welcomed any legal proceedings as I would win handily and that there would be a counter suit which they would lose. One of the B.O.D. chortled that they are personally protected from paying any award, a fact which I knew from my tenure as president. My response to her was that even though the B.O.D. wouldn't have to personally pay, I'd make sure I was at the general meeting when they explained to the other homeowners why they all had to pony up X number of thousands of dollars to pay for losing a frivolous lawsuit. Further, I told all of the B.O.D. that I would subpoena every last one of them and that they could enjoy testifying in court instead of going to their jobs, maintaining their households, or whatever activities they usually did. That seemed to shut her up!
The upshot of this stupid little squabble is that the B.O.D. will have to craft a new restriction that prohibits my truck without interfering with the rights of other truck owners in my neighbourhood, all the while not appearing to target one homeowner which would smack of prejudice and harassment, thus leaving them open to a law suit. I anticipate they will drop this matter, but look forward to enjoying their efforts if they don't.
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Sapper...
That is really good news..
But here is some news that should make your day....Christmas in Texas....
Santa from the North Pole won't be coming by this year. But don't worry, his cousin from the South will be making the trip:
Bubba Claus
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully.
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only Canada and certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us...
1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Cooter, on Buford and Blue, on Dingleberry and Jethro, we'all've still got a long way to go."
5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy.
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It."
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209
