[Keith Webb]

This rather appealed to me:

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of
patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next
patient.

The patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on
to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle"

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and
asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'

'No,' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit.'