A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes into the ward and says :


"Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a nasty pile-up on the motorway. Now you're going to be OK, you'll walk again, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently but your manhood was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

Now the man groans a bit, but the doctor goes on : "But it's going to be alright, we have the technology now to build you a new one that will work as well as your old one did, maybe better, in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap, it's a thousand pounds an inch"


The man perks up at this, even though it's a thousand pounds an inch.

"So the thing is" the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine inch one she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five inch one this time she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a vital role in helping you make the decision."

So the man agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.

"Well" says the doctor "Have you spoken with your wife ?"

"I have." says the man.

"And has she helped you in making a decision ?"

"She has" says the man.

"And what is that decision ?" asks the doctor.
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"We're having a new kitchen".

R.