[Keith Webb]

I almost lost my lunch yesterday driving behind a Ssanyong Stavic, a staggeringly hideous arrangement of cheap steel, plastic rubber and glass from Korea.

So, wondering whether it was just me I googled the name and came up with someone who feels the same:

The ugliest car in Australia

With the launch of the new (if you can call a 5 year old Daewoo new) Holden Viva, many are asking “is this the ugliest car launched by a mainstream manufacturer in Australia in living memory?” — to which the answer is a resounding Yes. Walking around the Motorshow last weekend it was great to be able to look at some of the monstrosities on display and say “yes it’s ugly, but at least it’s not Viva ugly”. But is it the ugliest car on the market at the moment? Not on your nelly.

There are some homely cars about at the moment. The BMW 7 series looks like someone crashed a hatchback into the back of the prototype and rather than remove it, BMW just decided to weld it into place. Or the 6 series, wich looks like an AU Falcon taxi from behind. The Peugeot 307’s nose might be a wonder of pedestrian care and crash-worthiness, but you wouldn’t pick one up if you saw it in a bar. The new Hilux’s slab sides make it seem to be confused as to whether it is a ute or a moving billboard. Mind you, were you to design a car with all of the worst features of all of the cars on the market, it would still be one of the best looking cars in the Ssangyong line-up.

The ugliest car in Australia is indeed a Ssangyong, but it’s not immediately obvious which one. In isolation any of the models in the Ssangyong range would make a fair claim to be the ugliest car ever. Like the Rexton, a 4WD that looks OK from about a kilometre away in the rear vision mirror, but any closer and it makes you want to gouge your eyes out. Or the Korando, which looks like a dog that has had it’s ears pulled back until it’s skin is stretched tight across it’s face. Never trust a car with close-set eyes. And finally, lets not forget the wonderfully named Chairman which looks remarkably like a mid-90’s Mercedes S-class, but one that’s had a nasty fright (like seeing a Holden Viva with lunch still unsettled). Or perhaps the Chairman is undergoing a prostate exam.

But they all pale into relative attractiveness beside the staggeringly ugly Stavic. Words fail me as I attempt to catalogue the crimes against design that are perpetrated in it’s sheet metal. There’s the open-mouthed drooling grill opening that makes it look like it’s missing a chromosome or two. The headlights are too big, the bonnet too upright and the windscreen to raked-back. They’ve slapped some black plastic cladding on the sides like it’s a soft-roader, but it just looks cheap. The wheels look like they’ve come off a mid-70’s Bluebird. The roof-rack rails continuing the line from the highest point of the roof emphasise it’s excessive height and the sharp crease line that runs along the flanks drops at the tail to give the rather unfortunate impression that it’s cacked it’s daks.

While we’re on the tail, what were they thinking? Think you’d like to see out the back of one of these puppies? Think again buddie. The rear window is 6 feet off the ground and attached to a structure that looks like they couldn’t decide if it should be a coupe or a wagon, and decided to have a bet each way. It is profoundly unattractive from every angle, and here’s the best bit: if you are unfortunate enough to actually see one of these buggers on the road, you’ll find to your delight and horror they are even uglier in the flesh than they are in the photos.

Although I think the rear spoiler perched atop the rear window is quite natty.

Holden, if you thought tarting up a 5 year old Daewoo would get you into the ranks of the ugliest cars in Australia, think again. Sure the new Barina looks like it was burped up after a particularly long lunch (and for bonus points, look for the Daewoo branded jack near the spare wheel), but for a sheer stomach churning, milk curdling, small children frightening one finger salute to aesthetics, you are mere amateurs.

Viva la Stavic, the ugliest car in Australia.

It gets my vote for the most distasteful eyesore on the roads... does anyone else here feel the same?


Source