I thought that it was common knowledge that EARCH stood for Ecumenical Auditory Remote Connection to Heaven. This was a tool supplied for use on field telephones by high powered military padres and the like in order to request emergency top cover, thunderboplts and similar interventions. Unfortunately the unit was fitted with an experimental scrambler that could cause extreme distortion causing rains of fish, jam donuts and other unfortunate phenomina. This caused it to be abandoned in favour of the older well established device of just putting the hands together.