I can't explain the pinging sound....likely a red herring: unrelated to the fault you did find. Heck, it could be a 1/2" wrench you left on the skid plate finally fell onto the road.
The lack of thermostat is not ideal. But it normally leads to condensation in the oil (especially at low temps. I recall seeing what looked almost like a film of whip cream on the dipstick in the winter time). As well the engine will not fully burn it's fuel at lower temps. Perhaps that is why your tailpipe is sooty.
Levers should be like you say. They will rattle around if the little spring clips are not slipped between them and the bracket they mount into. If they are popping out of their gear, then you have some transfer case repairs to do.
The mixture screw is located at the bottom inch of the carb, pointing towards the heater. Look for a screw with a spring between the screw head and the carb body.
Can't help on the wife thing. I just kept trading up until I found one who likes/tolerates my toys. Even now she can complain a little too much on a cruise night.
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