[aj.lec]

A CATTLE DOG STORY

Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said "Julia,

I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country

voters".

"Good idea Leader, how will we go about it"? said Julia.

"Well", said Rudd, "we get ourselves one of those Driaza Bone coats,

some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a blue cattle

dog. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback

country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush".

"Right" said Julia.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set

off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at

just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.

They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.


"G'day mate", said Rudd to the bartender, "two middies of your best

beer".

"Good afternoon Leader", said the bartender, "two middies of our best

coming up".

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and

chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a

drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a

grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to the

cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath,

shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few moments

later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the

dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went

back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen

came in and lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the

barman over.

"Tell me" said Rudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look

under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"


"Strewth no", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog

in the bar with two arseholes"..