I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I got caught urinating in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
I went to a bar last night and saw an obese chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs."
She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
regards
Darrell
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