Pork Fat Filled SAA

[David Dunlop]

OK, we are about to start a new year and a new decade and we are still going to be dealing with the same old war with the Taliban. They are not afraid to die and see it as becoming a martyr, enabling them to move on to a better life. But at the same time they are fanatical about the rules and regs (as they see them) of Islam. Maybe we need to fatten up the Psych Warfare budget a little next year. For example:

How happy would the average Taliban fighter be about being shot, if he believed all our small arms ammunition was now filled with pork fat? His injury or death would be unclean and therefore, no ideal afterlife. Remember the problems the British Army had in the 1800's when rumors spread that cartrige papers were sealed with pork fat?

Maybe we could consider adding a few trained Guard Hogs to base security. Nothing more impressive than walking a 600lb boar on a leash. Especially if it's kitted out with a black kevlar vest and matching helmet. And toss in a nice shiny spiked collar, just for effect.

And maybe the ultimate psych. Next time an important Taliban fighter is captured, photograph him. Then take his clothes and dress up a big fat sow in them and take some pictures of the sow. A few weeks later, a patrol goes back to the area where the fighter was captured and hands out the before and after pix telling all the locals this is what is meant when prisoners are sent to GITMO for processing. Tell them GITMO really stands for Genetically Intense Modification.