Strange Stuff about Morons

I get the strangest things in the email
My kids dad sent this to me tonite... and I thought you might all enjoy a good laugh or two ... from Ms. Yaps-A-lot Yappy (the laughter is on me )


Top 8 Morons of 2003

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had
barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, Launch the Bazooka!

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to
two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash
drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours to make some money until police showed up and grabbed
him.

5. DID I SAY THAT?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control
himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man shouted, That's not what I said!

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?

A man spoke frantically into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart! Is this her first child? the doctor asked. No! the
man shouted, This is her husband!

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE:

Last summer, down on Lake Minocqua, located in upper Wisconsin, some Illinois folks on
vacation and new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make
it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The
engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer