the weirdest thing on ebay

[Ryan]

Hi all, I know this has bugger all to do with military topics, but this is just too strange not to post.
Cheers
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/New-Life-for-...QQcmdZViewItem

[Gunner]

Hi Rynoki:

Many of us cannot open e-pay items due to gummint or company firewalls. I do all my confuser stuff in the office (personal stuff at lunch or after hours) as my dial up at home is so slow my dead granny can outrace it.

Please tell us what it is!

Cheers! Mike

[RHClarke]

NEW (24 year old) LIFE FOR SALE!!


This auction is for a New Life in the coastal town of Wollongong, Australia of a 24 year old male.

It includes the following:
Winning bidder will take ownership of my:
- Name

- Phone number

- All my possessions which includes the following

- Clothes,

- Roughly 300 CDs

- Surfboard

- Laptop (minus certain information with my discretion),

- Pushbike (Has wonky handlebars, may need some work)

- Books,

- Bed

- CD player

- Backpack

- Tennis racquets

- Golf Clubs(which you will have no idea how to use)

- Childhood photos

- Skateboard

- Nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you.



- I will teach you my skills which include the following



- Surfing (Expert)

- Climbing (Intermediate)

- Skateboarding (Novice)

- Handstand Skills (Expert)

- Fire Twirling Skills (Intermediate)

- Devil Stick Twirling (Expert)

(Plus many more)



- Will introduce to all my friends & potential lovers (around 8 which I have been flirting with)

- I have around 15 close friends and around 170 other friends

- I have 2 nemeses.

- Lifestyle is very social. It includes a lot of going out.



NB: Friends will treat you exactly as they have treated me. This includes friends who take me surfing, running, climbing and cook for me. All of these features will be transferred over to the winning applicant.





Life also includes the following features



- Will have access to a cruisy job in march delivering fruit.

- You will write a satirical horiscope in the University of Wollongong Magazine.

- You will have new parents to have Christmas with & birthday presents from friends.

- A birthday party will also be organised for you.



This auction also includes the following



- A 4 week training course by the former me which includes the following:



- Many anecdotes and stories from a very interesting and intriguing past 24 years of my life

- 6 Jokes

- Training in becoming me (fashion, food, lifestyle, style of seduction, interests)

- Haircut like mine

- Piercings to the value of $180.

- Lessons in my personal history (The good stuff and the bad stuff)

- Skills Lessons (as mentioned above)



NB: After the 4 week training winning bidder will also receive 2 months of on-call support.



Please note the following



- A friend owes me $20. Another friend owes me a six-pack of beer which you can redeem upon winning the bid.

- The winning applicant should probably shout the next $20 worth of weed.

- Will need to become vegetarian. This can however be changed in the future.

- There is some tension with a former ex from a painful breakup which must be inherited.



I will endeavor to take on a new identity freeing up my prior identity to the winning applicant. Any contact with my former life will be under a different persona.



Only people who will make a full attempt to embrace my life need apply.



Serious bidders only please.




Male or Females welcome (My name is gender neutral)



Good Luck



PS.



Please note winning bidder does not receive ownership of the following:

- Degrees/qualifications

- Drivers License

- Passport

- Future Inheritance

- Formal/Legal Identity



(This is more of a social life and mentality as opposed to a new legal identity)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 16-Jan-07 at 19:01:11 AEDST, seller added the following information:

Just to clear up any confusion; because the actual seller is computer illiterate I am acting as an agent for him. Therefore I (Paul) am not the actual seller. The actual sellers name is Nicael and he is my housemate. I am just acting on behalf of him and answering any queries that need answering.


Also please note that a documentary is being made so anyone who wins this bid will need to participate in the doco.


Cheers

Paul

Waste of time and rations/oxygen bandit...

[Ryan]

Hey come on RHClarke, that's a bit harsh, he's not a waste of space. Just imagine if Stalin had of thought that way, what would he have filled out his penal battalions with?

[RHClarke]

Originally posted by rynoki
Just imagine if Stalin had of thought that way, what would he have filled out his penal battalions with?

He had no trouble filling them - in fact there were not enough gulags to go around for the bastard. So, he had a few million killed in the purges.

R.W Davies "Forced Labour Under Stalin: The archive revelations" New Left Review, no 214 p67 (1995) suggests that millions met their fate via Mr. Stalin's methods...

Deep breath. Sorry for the over-serious reply. Now, back to regularly schedule jocularity...

[John McGillivray]

Originally posted by RHClarke
[/B]Also please note that a documentary is being made so anyone who wins this bid will need to participate in the doco.
[/B]

This sounds like one of those reality TV shows. Some sucker pays good cash to buy a phoney “life” full of second rate actors and extras while some sick TV execs get some cheap filler for the air waves. The “life” even comes complete with two “nemeses” for dramatic effect.