An electrical theory

[Keith Webb]

This one about the Prince of Darkness was passed on to me...

Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
Positive ground depends upon proper circuit functioning, the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work; we know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of the electrical system, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

When, for example, the smoke escapes from an electrical component (i.e., say, a Lucas voltage regulator), it will be observed that the component stops working. The function of the wire harness is to carry the smoke from one device to another; when the wire harness "springs a leak", and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards. Starter motors were frowned upon in British Automobiles for some time, largely because they consume large quantities of smoke, requiring very large wires.

It has been noted that Lucas components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than Bosch or generic Japanese electrics. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brakes leak fluid, British tires leak air and the British defense establishment leaks secrets...so, naturally, British electrics leak smoke.

[Lynn Eades]

Keith, that is so very "on the nail"

[Jon Skagfeld]

ROFLMAO, with tears in my eyes.

How well I remember the Lucas electrics in my first car, a 1950 Morris Minor, then an Austin A40, then a Hillman Minx.

If it rained in the Amazon forest, all Brit cars in Canada failed to fire up!!!

[cletrac (RIP)]

If you could ever get all that smoke back in there where it belongs the component would work again, but try as you might, it just won't all fit.

Originally posted by cletrac
If you could ever get all that smoke back in there where it belongs the component would work again, but try as you might, it just won't all fit.

Yes it will, you colonials just don't have the right kit, miles behind the rest of us.

You need the Lucas Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke kit, P/N 530433, along with the very rare Churchill Tool 18G548BS adapter tube and metering valve.

Go here for all the info, FAQs and pictorial instructions for replacing the smoke.

http://www.mez.co.uk/lucas.html

Do try and keep up.

R.

[Howard]

I read with interest that Lucas have diversified and are now making vacuum cleaners.
At last they make something that doesn't suck.
HH

[Ian Pullen]

If my memory serves me right. I believe that it was Mr Lucas who actually invented the three position switch.
On, Off & Smouldering....