Suntan Winning-Ball

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I'm sure that in the interests of keeping the Notton household relatively clean, Mrs. Notton would be happy to assist you in this endeavour, using Veare as a suitable fluffy scrub brush (you can feed either or both after the fact).

Now, Mr. Sunnington-Rayballwin, you may have overlooked one salient and pertinent fact however.

Whilst Veare might make a very good fluffy scrub-brush, the necessity of moving her 16lb mass around may prove more energetic than a work out with the gym dumbells and moreover there is another pertinent point to consider.

In my considered opinion, I think she would not take kindly to being utilised in this manner and so rather than being able to use the fluffy side, the most likely outcome would be the employment of her 18 personal and in-built scimitars on your nads much like sprinter's starting blocks.

Knowing that Veare has an initial acceleration from rest somewhat better than a McLaren F1 and by the judicious application of E=MC² we can arrive at a figure of pressure applied to each scimitar assuming cat = 16lb. It is fair to say that the resultant figure is several quantum orders above the tensile strength of human tissue.

This action, I would imagine, is to be throughly avoided since it would most definitely bring tears to your eyes and possibly cause such a sharp intake of breath that the size of your personal abloutions chamber may suddenly become much smaller owing to the vacuum so occasioned causing a somewhat worrying implosion.

R.