Warning Lables......

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

With the holiday seasons now approaching and many visitors expected to visit our fair lands,a wee drop of the Christmas cheer is usually offered to our guests and visitors....
The Canadian Gumint in all it's wisdom ,having control of the LEGALLY manufactured alcoholic beverages has decided to issue new warning lables on all of our products that are usually consumed at this time of year...
These warning lables are for information only for our guests and to be disreguarded by native born Canadians who are naturally imune to the effects of our local alcoholic beverages....and besides ,who the Fu*k is going to listen to some lilly livered Canadian politition...
But you Ozzies pay attention,if you are visiting this year...
Here goes...

Canadian liquor manufacturers have accepted the Health Canada's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass
kicked.
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode