Nobody loves Toronto !!

[Garry Shipton (RIP)]

A young French Canadian,Jean Baptiste Latremouille said to his uncle on return from a short visit to Toronto.
"You know geezcrise,I doan like Toronto wortha shit.Dey got no goddam hospitality.One morning I'm going to a cup of coffee shop for get me some breakfast and I'm tell de girl.:
Please,I wan two pizz toast,she bring me wan pizz,so I say to her:Hexcuse me,I'm want two pizz,she say,"If you wan to pizz go to the toilet".I say "You doan hunderstand.I'm wan two pizz on the plate.She say:"doan you pizz on the plate,yo sonnuvabitch".So I'm walk out.
I'm go to Murrys' for dinner and de lady she bring me a spoon and a knife.She doan bring me a fork.I say "Lady,I wanna fork".She say:'What do you tink". "Everybody wanna do dat".I say:'You doan understand,I wanna fork on de table".She say:You doan care where you you do it ,you sonnavabitch".So I doan eat at all and go to may room.
When I get in my room,dere's no sheet on de bed.So I phone de manager and say:"I wanna sheet".He say:"If you sheet go on the bathroom".I'm tol him I'm not wanna sheet on the bathroom".I'm tol him I'm not wanna shhet on the bathroom I wanna sheet on the bed you sonnavabitch". So I get mad and go check out.
I go pay my bill and I'm tell dis guy I'm going to check out for Montreal.He say:"Well,my frien,goodbye and peace to you". I say:Pizz on you,you someofabitch". Because I'm so mad in de face I feel I can lick any man twice my heavy AND twice my old".