Some Funnies

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Canada Day jokes ..

Good..

A Saskatchewan police officer had a perfect spot to watch for speeders,
but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old
boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR
TRAP AHEAD' The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a
sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money.

(And we used to just sell lemonade!)



BETTER:


A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post in Edmonton, AB.A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being
cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded
with another mailed photo of handcuffs.



BEST:


A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Saskatchewan RCMP
Officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said,
I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the RCMP Ball.

He replied, 'Ma'am, Saskatchewan RCMP don't have balls.'

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what
he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and
drove off.

She was laughing too hard to start her car.

[Rob Beale]

On a tour of NZ, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the ocean
for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach at Whanganui in his car, when there was a frantic commotion just off the shore. A helpless man wearing a green and gold Aussie rugby jersey was struggling frantically to free himself, from the jaws of a 5-metre shark.

As the Pope watched horrified, a Waka cruised up alongside with two men wearing All Black jerseys. Rangi quickly threw a harpoon into the shark's side. Hohepa reached out and pulled the mauled, bleeding and semi-conscious Aussie from the water. Then, using long clubs, Rangi and Hohepa killed the shark and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope summoned them to the beach, 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions,' he told them. 'I heard that there was some bitter rivalry between New Zealand and Australia, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'

As the Pope drove off, Rangi asked Hohepa 'Who the hell was that, bro?' 'That was the Pope cuz' Hohepa replied. 'He's in direct contact with God bro, and has access to all of God's wisdom.' 'Well' Rangi said, 'he may have access to God's wisdom, but he don't know bugger all about shark fishing .........

Is the bait holding up okay bro, or do we need to get another Aussie?

Rob

[hrpearce]

Sent to me in Eail.