Some Funnies

[Keith Webb]

This is long, hope it posts.
Should help educate our teenagers.



Source.

[lynx42]

So now maybe the younger generation will understand how it all came about.
Thats a good one Keith.
Rick

[RHClarke]

Originally Posted by Keith Webb

This is long, hope it posts.
Should help educate our teenagers.

I note with interest that Australia gets a mention (rightly so), but nowhere could I find Canada's contribution...We may need futher education for the "educators"...

Other than that, our teens (those who can read) should find this interesting.

[Keith Webb]

Absolutely they should have included that! I wonder who created it originally.

AUSTRALIA: You can train our pilots.
CANADA: Whatevs.

[Keith Webb]

Believe it or not, there is a deer in this picture. You probably can’t see it because it’s camouflage coloured.

Link.

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Friendly Holiday Advice

Please, take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes that just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.

Happy New Year..

[Keith Webb]

I liked this one...

Department of Labor investigation
The North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

Farmer: Well, there’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

Then there’s the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

Department of Labor employee: That’s the guy I want to talk to… the mentally challenged one.

Farmer: That would be me.

[Barry Churcher]

Sask. Drunk, you just gotta love it!!!!

How many of our Officers would find the humour in this e-mail! After all, I am sure he was sitting there laughing at this guy the entire time.

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street at Estevan , Saskatchewan ..

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish.. A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off.

Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.

He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over. He performed a breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated fully, and to his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Saskie,
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."