Some Funnies

[Keith Webb]

What makes you think we're chauvinist pigs?

Originally Posted by universalgrl

This is for all you male chovanist oinkers out there.

" When God created man She was only joking"

[Hans Mulder]

Just because I caught that swine flu, doesn't make me a male chauvinist pig. I prefer "macho porcine bigot"

[Luke R]

There's own one thing worse than a male chauvinist pig, a woman that wont do what shes told.

[universalgrl]

You blokes down under all the blood has rushed to yer ead that what comes from being upside down and blowen the froth off what you guys call beer.

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Nice flat head sound at the first of the video..

http://cruzintheavenue.com/CarsWeDrove.htm

[Lang]

The Blonde and the Cow




A blond city girl marries a farmer.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the farmer says to the blond:

'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the wall just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'

The farmer leaves for the paddock. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'

'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'

The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,

'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

[Lang]

Last 10 cents


A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy three 10c coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.....
The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back..

The boy coughs up 2 of the 10c's but is still choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter !!!
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10c's, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand..

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

'No,' the woman replied.
I'm with the Australian Tax Office..'