Some Funnies

Little Jo · #1 26-01-12, 01:49

Italian Alter Boys Confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

Keith Webb · #2 27-01-12, 22:32

ABS explained:

Source

Alex Blair (RIP) · #3 29-01-12, 21:37

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said.. "Oh, that's so lovely.. What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Howard · #4 30-01-12, 10:09

This one has been doing the rounds for a while...

Quote:

Julia Gillard (Australian Prime Minister) goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR.
After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and she asks him his name.
" Stanley ," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley ?"
"I have 4 questions:
Why did you bring in a carbon tax when Australians didn't vote for it?
Second, why are you Prime minister when the Liberal Party got more votes?
Third, weren't you a communist at university?
Fourth, why are you so worried about gay-marriage when you said you're a lesbian
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Julia informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Julia says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that 's right: question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. Julia points him out and asks him his name.
"Steve," he responds.
"And what is your question, Steve?"
Actually, I have 6 questions.
Why did you bring in a carbon tax when Australians didn't vote for it?
Why are you Prime minister when Tony Abbott got more votes?
Third, weren't you a communist at university?
Fourth, why are you so worried about gay-marriage when you are obviously a lesbian?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the f**k happened to Stanley ?"