Tony Baker's brother

[Private_collector]

In the past couple of weeks a very sad situation has been evolving. Last Thursday, my Brother underwent a radical resection for a malignant brain tumor. On Monday, Mother and I were informed by the neurosurgeon that the tumor had been examined since the operation, and was found to be a glioblastoma, one of if not the most agressive tumors. Knowing what it is, and despite the removal of the bulk of the tumor, my dear Brother has now been informed that the condition is fatal. He does not have very long to live now, and will only be going home from hospital for a brief time. The expectation is that he will be admitted to his local hospital in coming weeks, or possibly even days, and will have round the clock assistance until he passes away. Our 86yo Mother, and indeed myself, are absolutely shocked at the speed with which this has occured and we are heartbroken. With that in mind, I will not be attempting any further work on the truck for the forseeable future. It has no attraction to me now. While all this is unfolding, my priority is to assist my family to any extent that I am able.

I will not be continuing this restoration, nor making any postings for an undetermined period of time. There are a couple of MLU chaps that I am still attempting to find things for, and that will remain the case. I will contact those members when the goal has been achieved or if all avenues have been exhausted. Either way, I promise to get back to you.

There is no doubt in my mind that you all are wishing well for my Brother, and I thank you in advance and take that as read. There will only be one outcome with this dreadful circumstance, of that there is now no doubt.

Thankyou, and despite not being a religous man.........bless you all.

[hrpearce]

Tony it saddens me to read your post. It is probably harder for you knowing the outcome in advance. You and your Mother will need all the love that can be extended to you. You are both in my prayers this week.

[Keith Webb]

Tony, that is really tragic news, and on behalf of our fellow MLU community I pray for strength for you, your brother and family in this horrific time.

My own brother has multiple myeloma and whilst this is a slow developing disease it will get him in the end...

Out thoughts and prayers are with you mate, and thanks for your courage in making this situation known to us.

[Ian Fawbert]

Hi Tony,

Sorry to hear about your brother. I can sympathise with you, your mum and families pain and sadness as my dad passed away just over 12 months ago from a G4 brain tumor, he was only 62 (im only 30). I do not write this to bring a sadder tone to your message or to look for sympathy for myself, but to say that there are those in MLU land who know exactly what you are going/to go through mate and are here if we can help.

I wish you all well in the coming time ahead and should we be able to do anything to help, please ask- while we are all a distance away, alot can be done from a distance to help.

I have followed your thread from day 1, learning an immense amount for a blitz resto i will one day undertake and will look forward to you picking it up again whenever you are ready to come back.

Regards,
Ian.

[lynx42]

Tony,

Jill and I are both very to hear about your brother. There are unfortunately very few families who are not touched by the big C. My mother developed a G4 and so did Jill's late husband. We therefore know what you and your family are going through.

May I give you a small bit of advice. Do not stop your restoration. Get out there and BASH something hard and then get back into something intricate and it will take your mind off things for a while.

Our thoughts are with you, your mother and your other family and we wish for a nice end to this terrible thing.

Regards Rick and Jill.

[David Dunlop]

Hi Tony.

My best thoughts to you and your family and I hope things go as smoothly as possible for all of you.

For what it is worth, I respectfully encourage you not to close the door completely on the restoration project. Leave it ajar slightly so you don't lose sight of it. There will come a time where you won't want to get involved with the major tasks, because they will be overwhelming and seem insignificant to what else is going on, but as I am sure you know, there are always a lot of short simple things to do, even if it is just reorganizing parts or sweeping the floor, that will be a great help to you in getting your mind refocused and refreshed. You will need a break at some point and your restoration will be waiting for you when you do.

Cheers,


David

[Little Jo]

Hi Tony

It seems a day does not go by anymore when we are not confronted with sadness. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will reverse what is happening. I know that we are all thinking of you and your family. Please take strength from the knowledge that you have a lot of friends who will help you get through. I concur with David, leave the door ajar, please stay in touch with your MLU family.

Stay Strong.

Tony

[Jacques Reed]

Just got back from helping my daughter over last few days with the final stages of winding up their horse float business so I only just read your post.

We are so sorry to hear about your brother's condition and prognosis.

Sue and I extend our kindest thoughts to you and all your family in this most trying time for everyone.

We know too well how something like that can knock you for a six and everything fades into insignificance. Eventually though, you will bounce back and you will know when it is the right time to resume your interests. Till then, take care, and all of us in the military vehicle fraternity have you in our thoughts.

Kindest regards,

Jacques and Sue

[Shane]

Gday Tony, so sorry to hear the bad news mate but keep in mind sometimes its very helpful for the mind and soul to be able to dive deep into a project to allow you some down time and peace. Bless you mate and your family.

[Tony Wheeler]

G'day Tony, just wanted to say I'm very sorry to hear this sad news. Sounds like you're quite close to your brother so I expect it will knock you around for a while, and I imagine your Mother will be needing plenty of support in the time ahead as well.

It's only natural that we lose all interest in hobbies under these circumstances, and I'm sure we can all relate to that. You'll be missed on MLU but we'll all be here when you're ready to resume, and only you will know when the time is right. The only advice I can give is not to place any demands or expectations on yourself.

Anyway thanks for letting us know Tony and I join with others in wishing you strength in difficult times ahead.

Cheers,
Tony

[Lionelgee]

Hello MLU Community,

I have been asked by Tony to let you all know that in the early hours of this morning Tony's brother Darryl passed away.

Tony has asked me to let everyone know of his family's loss and for me to thank you for all your thoughts and concerns for Tony and his family.

Tony wishes to thank everyone from the MLU community for their continued support in what has been a time of great sadness.

I will pass on any messages to Tony.



Kind Regards
Lionel Evans

[Howard]

Tony,
Our thoughts are with you, now and in the coming days.
Take care of your mum and yourself.
The Holgates.

[Lynn Eades]

Lionel, Can you pass on my best regards to Tony in these difficult times.
Thank you.

[Little Jo]

Lionel
Please pass on my condolences to Tony and tell him our thoughts are with him and his family at this sad time.

Thanks

Tony

[hrpearce]

Sorry to hear the news Tony. You, Your Mother and Family are again in my prayers.

[Tony Wheeler]

Thanks for letting us know Lionel, please pass on my condolences to Tony and give him my best regards.

[Keith Webb]

And please pass on my condolences to Tony and his family.

[Richard Farrant]

Tony, I am very sorry to hear of your loss, somehow I had not been keeping up with your thread in last few weeks and was not aware.
Do not let go of your restoration, you will find it rewarding later on, when you can set your mind to it and also be able to exchange posts with your friends on MLU.
In the meantime, my thoughts are with you and your mother.

Kind regards,
Richard

[Ian Johns]

Please pass on my condolences to Tony and his family.

Ian

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Tony,

Terrible news, I am sorry to say I hadn't noticed this before as I was away on holiday.

Please accept my condolences.

Hanno

[Jacques Reed]

Thanks Lionel for letting us know.
Please pass on our condolences to Tony.
Our thoughts are with him and his family at this sad time.

Jacques and Sue Reed

[lynx42]

Tony and family, our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Rick and Jill.

[Luke R]

Very sorry to hear of his passing.
Please pass on my condolences to Tony and his family.

Luke

[aj.lec]

Deepest condolences to Tony and his family
Andrew

[Mrs Vampire]

My condolences .

[Ian Fawbert]

Our best wishes from my family to ours.

We all look forward to seeing you back here soon/when our ready.

Cheers,
Ian.

[Barry Churcher]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Barry and Janet

[Lionelgee]

Hello All MLU members

Thank you for all of you who have passed on their thoughts and condolences to Tony and his family. I have let Tony know of your kindness and regards. Thank you.

Kind Regards
Lionel
on behalf of Tony

[Private_collector]

Dear Folks of Maple Leaf Up,

My sincerest thanks to you all, for the Wondeful words of support and condolences you have sent me over the past few weeks. I have not had the ability to see these messages for myself until last night.

This morning, my brother Darryl was laid to rest. He passed away in the small hours of Wednesday 21st August, 2013. We received the call from Mother at 0140hrs, to say that he had died at home. It was his wish to remain at home as long as he could, and with Mothers round the clock assistance, this was able to be achieved. I had hoped it would be a peaceful & dignified death. It was not. I had also expected that knowing Darryl had a terminal illness, this would help prepare us for his ultimate demise. It did not. I will never forget receiving Mums phone call that early morning. The anguish and grief in her voice will haunt me forever. Naturally, once the call came, my wife and I immediately got dressed and drove the two hours to be with Mum. I have no recollection of the drive itself, suffice to say it was a blur. When we arrived at Mums home, the two gentlemen from the funeral home had already arrived, and were in the process of preparing to take my brother away. I was permitted to interrupt their work for several minutes while I said my goodbye to my poor dear brother. It's a sureal experience to sit with the lifeless body of someone who has always been a part of your life.

From what I have been able to piece together, it looks as if Darryl arose from bed and went to the toilet around 0100hrs. It appears he fell badly on his way back to bed and was not able to get up. He had lost his strength and co-ordination, as well as his power of speech. He managed to atract Mothers attention by tapping on the wall ajoining their bedrooms. Mother rushed into Darryls room, and was met with the sight of her son on the floor, and his life ebbing away. Mum has told me that Darryl tried to reach out to her, but could not raise his arms sufficiently to achieve this. She held Darryl as he lay dying, but had to leave him to summon the paramedics. When she returned, he had passed away. Paramedics arrived within minutes, but it was too late for any attempt to revive. It would have been pointless, and greatly traumatic to watch too. There is one piece of information that I had not yet provided here. Darryl had bled badly from the mouth, and he was laying in a puddle of his own blood. For this reason the paramedics were required by law to report the death to the Police, who attended breifly and took a statement from Mother. Once they were able to see documents indicating Darryl was in end stage of a terminal illness, they provided comfort to Mother, before taking their leave. They had left before I arrived. I firmly believe Darryl had a haemorhagic CVA, or put simply, a stroke. This is most likely what ended his life so suddenly. My mind wonders what other senses he could have lost in addition to his speech. What kind of terror did he endure as he lay dying? Was he aware, or had he faded to the extent that he was oblivious to his surrounds? I will never know.

My dear brother was put to rest at 1100hrs today. It was less than one month since he went home from hospital. Prior to hospital discharge, we all spoke with the palliative care doctor, and he laid all the cards on the table, so to speak. He indicated that he considered Darryl may have 2-3 months of life left. I recall thinking to myself that he may have been overly optomistic with this prognosis. In my mind, I had figured closer to 4-6 weeks. As it turns out, I was also overly generous with that calculation.

On Saturday I made the trip down to Mothers house again, and this time we brought her back to our place until this morning. I did not want her to be alone in the empty house where her adored son passed away, as time counted down to the day of the funeral. I am proud to report that last night Mother and I sat down with my tablet computer, to read your messages of support. When I loaded MLU, I was greatly humbled and moved to see all the well wishes and expressions of sympathy. I have no problem with saying now that we both had tears in our eyes as we read each and every message you had posted. I was overwhelmed then, and remain so. Your support and comfort has given us additional strength we didn't know we had, until then.

The photos below, were taken just 11 days prior to my brothers death.

Neither Darryl or Mother had visited our home before that day. We had several attempts to arrange for them to visit, but something always intervened to cancel the plans. Following Darryls poor prognosis, and with his health continually in decline, we knew we would have to act NOW as the window of opportunity was quickly closing. If we had waited one more week, Darryl would not have been well enough to make the trip. The photos shown here, will always be treasured, and are a reminder that my brother DID get to see our home, and also see for himself the truck i'm sure he was tired of hearing about. Unfortunately he was not fully able to take in all that he was seeing, but he did regardless enjoy the visit.

I will forever be in your debt, for the compassion and sympathies you have show to my family and I. I also wish to thank Lionel, for conveying the news of my brothers death, and for relaying my thanks to you all. At that time I was not able to convey these things for myself. Lionel, you have my humble gratitude and admiration for this.

It will be some time still, before I feel the desire to continue the restoration, but I have been pottering away with some small tasks. While these little jobs are quite insignificant, they have been a therapy none the less. I will write more about what I have been doing in coming days, back in the restoration thread. For now, PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE THANKS TO YOU ALL.



R.I.P, Darryl James Baker
4th December 1953 - 21st August 2013.

You won't be forgotten, mate!

[Keith Webb]

Tony, thanks so much for sharing this so candidly with us. It does a lot to make us all feel a closer part of this amazing community.

Although the grieving process is difficult and sometimes unpredictable may you and your family move through this time and be somehow stronger for it.

I respect the way you have honoured your brother through the real portrayal of his last hours. It must have been a horrific time for you.