Earthquake in Ontario

[Jon Skagfeld]

At approx 1720 hrs local, 20 Oct 05, a tremor shook the area from Collingwood to Meaford.

Supposedly a mid-Georgian Bay underwater anomaly caused this.

It has been reported as an earthquake tremor.

Sheesh...I thought it was just a Battery of Arty fire from the Meaford range.

If I can find any damage to my house or out buildings, do you think Indonesia, Malaysia, Pakistan, or any other Third World country might financially assist me? :

Conversely, could I ask for PRT or DART assistance?

I still love my country, but I still hate my government.

Funny, I wondered if you folks felt that. Sorry bout that ... I've had terrible gas lately.

[Bruce Parker (RIP)]

Foriegn Affairs Canada policy in Briefing Statement PL-12G/2004 (Provisional) clearly states in Article 124.3(b)(xviii):

Assistance of the Canadian government to disaster areas in foreign locals shall be forthcoming if such assistance will promote the values, interests and future election prospects of the Sole Canadian Ruling Pary ("SCRP", which is defined in Appendix H and the Liberal Party of Canada) and it's heirs, successors and faithful friends.

and in Article 768.9(s) that:

Assistance will be provided to disaster areas as defined in this Briefing Statement, and shall in no circumstances be provided to walking disasters.

So, there it is Jon, you don't qualify.

[RHClarke]

Jon,

I'm surprised that you felt that tremour, as you Trontonians, being at the centre of the universe, rarely notice anything happening outside of the area...

[Jon Skagfeld]

Back off, Buddy! I ain't no Trontonian no more.

That's why I live where I now do.

Seriously, I don't even think the tremor was felt down in left-lib heaven.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

That was just the earth moving naturally as you walked over it, Your Prontoness.

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally posted by Bruce Parker
Foriegn Affairs Canada policy in Briefing Statement PL-12G/2004 (Provisional) clearly states in Article 124.3(b)(xviii):

Assistance of the Canadian government to disaster areas in foreign locals shall be forthcoming if such assistance will promote the values, interests and future election prospects of the Sole Canadian Ruling Pary ("SCRP", which is defined in Appendix H and the Liberal Party of Canada) and it's heirs, successors and faithful friends.

and in Article 768.9(s) that:

Assistance will be provided to disaster areas as defined in this Briefing Statement, and shall in no circumstances be provided to walking disasters.

So, there it is Jon, you don't qualify.

Bruce:

This is totally unacceptable.

I shall appeal directly to the UN Secretary General, Kofni Anan, a man of inestimable fortitude and compassion, for direct assistance.

I am particularly disturbed by the passing tremor having traumatized my trees to the extent that they have shed their leaves due, no doubt, to this catastrophic occurrence.

Indeed, my lawn has turned from its usual verdant colour to a sickly yellow. Immediate assistance is required.

Monetary aid in the form of rupees, dongs, dinars, bahts, AUDs, DMs, yen, yang, sing, song, whatever gratefully received and your cheque will be quickly processed to my off shore account.

Praise be to Allah, most merciful and compassionate. Saudi riyals from King Abdullah's slush fund would be especially well received.

Boukhara, in'shallah!

[Garry Shipton (RIP)]

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
Back off, Buddy! I ain't no Trontonian no more.

That's why I live where I now do.

Seriously, I don't even think the tremor was felt down in left-lib heaven.

Left Lib Heaven !! Hell,that's where I was with the wife at that precise time.Damn,thought I'd moved the world with my prowness.Now how the hell do I explain to her that it wasn't me but an earthquake.
: :

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Garry Shipton
Left Lib Heaven !! Hell,that's where I was with the wife at that precise time.Damn,thought I'd moved the world with my prowness.Now how the hell do I explain to her that it wasn't me but an earthquake.
: :

Naw, it was the dawg...

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
Bourkhara, in'shallah!

DERKA DERKA! I DECLARE A FATWA UPON YOU, HEATHEN SWINE!!

[Jon Skagfeld]

Imshee, imshee, yellah!!!

(Two lumps with your chai, emir?)

[Garry Shipton (RIP)]

Jon & GWB,

And I quote an old arab saying said with a Paki accent:

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!",you white infidels.ALLAH AKBAR(Or whatever the hell that means
GS

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally posted by Garry Shipton
Jon & GWB,

And I quote an old arab saying said with a Paki accent:

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!",you white infidels.ALLAH AKBAR(Or whatever the hell that means
GS

It's "Alloah Akbar", meaning "God is great", usually uttered during a time of offensive deployments into battle where the possibility of death is high. It's a sort of "Ave, Caesar, moribundis te salutimus"...(Hail, Caesar, we who are about to die salute you).

BTW Gary, no self respecting Arab (oxymoron?) would ever adopt a Paki accent. To Arabs, Pakis are less than slaves...to be used and disdainfully trashed.

[Tony Smith]

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
Indeed, my lawn has turned from its usual verdant colour to a sickly yellow. Immediate assistance is required.

Monetary aid in the form of rupees, dongs, dinars, bahts, AUDs, DMs, yen, yang, sing, song, whatever gratefully received and your cheque will be quickly processed to my off shore account.

I have mailed you 1000 MLU Monopoly dollars and a Large bag of Manure for your lawn. That should be of tremendous assistance in your time of distress.

[Bruce Parker (RIP)]

It's not about assistance after an unfortunate act of God. It's about being better off. That's what Jon wants. A greener lawn. A bigger garage. Pity and recognition.

Likewise, your kind donation has been received by the responsible government sponsored NGO and, after distribution and allocation, overhead and adjustments, your generous aid had reached Jon in his time of need in the body of $6 (monopoly) and a load of sh..t.

Your selfless gesture is very much appreciated.