Some Funnies

[Keith Webb]

Evolution has produced an element that has become clearly identifiable
in the past decade or two.

Recent hurricanes and petrol issues are proof of the existence of a
new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause
more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons