Some Funnies

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a
Cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will
Instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by
Getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the
Toilet seat by using the shower.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
Yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in
Your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm
Clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
After you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
Laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and
Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it
Shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get
To know them.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT
REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN
PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.