Baaaa-d Goat

I really got a chuckle out of this one today ...

June 25, 2006

Goat gets demotedDisrupted military parade
By AP

LONDON -- A British army regiment's mascot goat was demoted in disgrace after it disrupted a parade before a host of international dignitaries to mark the Queen's birthday, a military spokesman said yesterday.

The military mascot, a six-year-old male goat called Billy, was downgraded from the rank of lance-corporal to fusilier -- the same status as a private -- after army chiefs ruled his poor display ruined the ceremony June 16 at a British army base in Episkopi, western Cyprus.

'WOULD NOT STAY IN LINE'

Lance-Cpl. Dai Davies, 22, the goat's handler, was unable to keep control during the parade earlier this month, as the mascot darted from side to side, throwing soldiers off their stride, spokesman Capt. Crispian Coates said by telephone from Episkopi -- one of two British bases on the island.

"The goat, which has been the Royal Welsh Regiment's mascot since 2001, was supposed to be leading the march but would not stay in line," said Coates.

"He was reported for insubordination and after consideration, the commanding officer decided he had no option but to demote Billy."

Capt. William Rose, a soldier present at the parade, said the goat "was trying to headbutt the waist and nether regions of the drummers."

A total of 11 mascots -- including a ferret, an Indian black buck and a ram -- are kept by the British army but regiments do not take the mascots on tours to combat zones. British members of Parliament were told last month keeping the mascots costs the equivalent of about $60,000 Cdn a year.

The Welsh regiment was presented with a goat from the royal herd in 1746 and Billy is descended from the same bloodline, said a spokeswoman for Britain's Ministry of Defence, on customary condition of anonymity.

"He is not a grazing goat and has food flown in from Wales. Billy also has an allowance of two cigarettes a day -- both of which he eats," said the spokeswoman.

Ambassadors from Spain, Sweden, the Netherlands, a United Nations special representative and the head of UN forces in Cyprus all attended the parade in Cyprus, Coates added.