#1
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Beware
My kids dad sent this to me today. We aren't on speaking terms
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMEN: A Chemical Analysis ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: WO DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: 50kg - 250 kg (100 to 550 lbs) OCCURENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered with a painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore. 6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points. CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol. 5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man. COMMON USES: 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation. TESTS: 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. HAZARDS: ***Extremely dangerous to possess more than one specimen at a time.*** |
#2
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Beware part 2
...so, what are the bi-products of this issue...
__________________
PRONTO SENDS |
#3
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Re: Beware part 2
Quote:
D E P E N D E N T OFF-SPRING therefore IMMORTALITY! |
#4
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re. analysis
Obviously written originally by a very wise man, a person of great wisdom and powers of observation.
He should have a Nobel Prize for science on the strength of his observational and analytical skills. Carmen : the by-product, of course, can only occur as the result of a chemical reaction involving the addition of a catalyst - A MAN.
__________________
Wear a poppy - support our Veterans and the Royal British Legion A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age!! (Meatloaf) |
#5
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Re: re. analysis
Quote:
Not the whole man perhaps, just some little swimmer...and only if it works. Right? Gawd... I'm ashamed of myself for posting that blurb that J sent me. I'm no credit to my gender with that posting and neither are YOU TWO for what you replied!!! |
#6
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Re: Re: re. analysis
It takes two to tango.........yip yap yip yap yip yap yip yap yip yap yip yap yip yap......... and one little swimmer.....
__________________
Mark |
#7
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Re: Re: Re: re. analysis
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WANNA DANCE?????????????? HAaaaaHa HA hahahahaa HA |
#8
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Re: Re: Re: Re: re. analysis
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__________________
Mark |
#9
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#10
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Quote:
__________________
Mark |
#11
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Re: Re: Re: Re: re. analysis
Quote:
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#12
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: re. analysis
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BEHIND EVERY GOOD MAN IS AN ASTONISHED WOMAN!!!! |
#13
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Well... I understand why Vodka could be necessary. Its not in womens nature to be bossy... we're forced into having to be bossy by avoidant men and some of us need Vodka to get in the bossy-mode
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#14
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Bossy??
Geez,now I'm really despondent!!Heck she's bossy even in her sleep--AND SHE's sober??
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#15
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Bossy??
Its not in womens nature to be bossy...
Oh yeah - really - since when????????
__________________
Wear a poppy - support our Veterans and the Royal British Legion A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age!! (Meatloaf) |
#16
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Re: Bossy??
Quote:
Geez Dave...what is it about you that your partner should have to sink to the level of bossy-ness (OIY... )Do you have a steady stock of VODKA in the house? Hmmm. When you move to the Island... and if I come there for a visit, I'll have to meet this poor woman |
#17
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Bossy??
Hey Mum - can I come out of the corner yet?
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#18
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Re: Bossy??
Quote:
MUMSY YAPPY |
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