An explanation and an apology

[Bill Murray]

Some of you may have noticed lately that I am somewhat "off" in my postings here. Certainly my friend Hanno has suffered through a number of situations with me such as posting 5 PMs to try to get a web site address to him. I have been guilty of many similar lapses of proper syntax, grammar, spelling and of course my dumbness in figuring out who posted the pics Hanno led us to on the thread on the Ford engine pic request. Very embarrasing to me and about the third one on as many forums in as many days.

OK, to the short strokes. About 2 1/2 months ago during a regular medical checkup it was determined that my blood pressure had gone from borderline "bad" to borderline "this is getting ugly" around 190 plus a bit against a normal 120.
So, the sawbones put me on a very aggressive regimen of drugs to get the numbers down. One of these drugs has a list of side effects that almost equal a book but I fell victim to only two of them. One is a persistent dry cough which occurrs every couple of hours and lasts sometimes for 15 minutes or so. Uncontrollable, can't stop it. This is, as you can imagine very debilitating. It takes energy, nothing comes up and you feel trashed after an episode. Happens day and night and I average about 3-4 hours of sleep a night, fitful at best.
Next and worse issue is general fatigue. I am constantly on the verge of exhaustion which is of course made worse by the coughing spells. Both problems are well known and documented side effects of this drug. I went to the Doc Tuesday and we are trying to figure out an alternative course of treatment.

To try to lighten this up, not only do I screw up my posts here and elsewhere on a regular basis, I do all kinds of other dumb things. Two examples, today, I inserted 26 checks (Thursday is check posting day) backwards in their window envelopes and sealed every bloody one of them. Did not realize the mistake until it was too late. A couple of weeks ago, I put about the same number of postage stamps on the envelopes not only upside down but on the wrong side and did not even realize it until the employee who had post office duty called it to my attention. Never realized it.

Another effect is short term memory loss or misplacement. I can read a thread here, go to make a reply and completely forget the key words or issues I was going to respond to. This has a rather nasty effect at the store and I have to be careful when talking to customers. My employees are all clued in and make allowances if I forget what they just discussed with me five minutes earlier. Does make for interesting days sometimes.

Enough of my problems.

Cliff, thanks for sharing your situation with us/me. You seem to have a handle on your situation but please allow me to say I am truly sorry anyway. Not slobberingly sorry, soberly sorry and I wish you the best. I particularly am with you on the issue of sharing what you have with the rest of the community. All of our lives are finite but most of don't know what it seems you know.
I have had PMs with several members of this board on the same subject but more dealing with my age (64) my earlier knowledge of potential heart problems and of course the ever present prostate gland monkey (Yup, got that monkey too and you never know) I salute your dedication to get as much as you can out there. Source material such as exists on your alblum site, the non public archived stuff anyway, is just going to disappear someday if it doesn't get out there as you are doing it. Even the public archive materiel is at risk as govournments continue to have to tighten their belts and eliminate such services to their publics, so the AWM for example, may one day just disappear due to lack of funding.

Well, enough babble. Hopefully for me at least I will get some new wonder drug to arrest my dumbing down. And......no sympathy wanted here either. Umpty eleven years of coffee, cigs and scotch take their toll. I ain't complaining.

To you, Cliff, may I offer the following:



Your friend, Bill

[cliff]

Bill I thank you for this post. You have touched me and my wife in a way we have not been touched in a while.

64 is not old in the life spans of today. neither is 47 which is the young age I am at.

I came to the realisation years ago that knowledge should be shared by all. Otherwise what good is knowledge? If I can help someone out with information I just do it without second thought.

I also thank all those people out there and also all the good folk that use this forum for passing on their information and taking the time to photograph truck parts etc for me (Bob Moresley in particular) and also the likes of Keith Webb and Mike Kelly who always answer my emails for information in a nice way when I am sure they really want me to bug off

thanks all
Cliff

PS> sure no one wants to model a truck with me?

[chris vickery]

Cliff and Bill
I am 32 years old and lost my father early at the age of 54 just last year. He was my best friend and inspiration, offering guidance, support, experience over my short time on this earth. He too had had some health problems, mostly related to the heart, of which he had a big one. Loved by many for sure.
Over the past year I have come to the realization that we must appreciate the time we have and enjoy life to the fullest. He certainly did.
Dad was cranky, irritable etc with all the meds he was given, and for the last little while, exibited behaviour that we couldn't understand (side effects), because he was too proud to tell us about his situation. Us guys are our own worst enemies and usually think we know better. Most of us do all the things we shouldn't, drink, smoke, eat bad things, party, carry on etc thinking we are invinceable. I call it the tough guy syndrome.
Never be ashamed, embarrassed, proud to tell your loved ones that you are not well or need help, let alone apoligize for being unhealthy.
Cherish your family and friends and the fun times you have.

[Keith Webb]

Wow, what a thread!

Cliff, never think that I want you to bug off...

I have a burning desire to share what I know and have found out about this fascinating subject and am only too happy to help out where time permits.

I think that's partly what has driven me to my career of film making and photographic documentation. I'm a storyteller at heart.

Bill, as for the "coughing" medication I was on a hypertension product which engendered asthma - once I switched to one which worked differently all that went away, so there may be a better alternative - I didn't know this until I did a bit of research and actually asked the doctor. Perhaps if I lost a bit of weight I wouldn't have to take anything!

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

I don't know what to say except thank you for your trust in us to share what you have. We're on your side, my friend. If there's ANYTHING we can do, you have but to ask.



Geoff

[Mary King]

To all of you suffering with hypertension (high blood pressure) there are other things you can do to help yourself. You may already know about these things so forgive me if I'm telling you things you already know about. I assume that you are alrady keeping your salt intake down. Make sure you or your wife/partner checks the labels.

1. You could buy yourself a "biofeedback" machine to use.

2. You could go to meditation classes and practice at home. This calms the mind and body and has been shown to bring blood pressure down. If you can't find a class near you then try a Buddhist centre who might have teachers near you. You DO NOT have to be or become a Buddhist to join in their meditations classes. Just go along and try and see for yourself how you feel about it. Give it a chance, I say and then decide.

I understand that "trascendental meditation" has shown that it has the ability to lower blood pressure although I can't remember where I read that so if the Buddhist meditation is not available in your area you could try that.

3. Massage, if you can get it, is also, if properly done, a wonderful way to destress the body and if you can find a properly qualified Aromatherapist then the essential oils used will be an added bonus.

4. You could try using mind power too. If you have a blood pressure monitor at home try taking your BP normally and then use your mind (as you would in biofeedback) to "think" your BP lower and take again. See what happens.

5. When taking your BP then remember not to tense up but the take about three deep breaths before taking your BP. If, like above, you measure it first then do the three deep breaths and measure again you might find it lowered. Many of us just breathe in the top part of our lungs which tenses the whole of the upper part of the body and thus restricts the chest cavity. Deep breathing, into the abdomen, stops this happening. Just stop and think when you are feeling "tense" and ask yourself how you are breathing. Is it up in the top of the chest or do you dilate your lungs lower down? Of course you should not "over breathe" as this can cause other problems but doing deep breathing at times of tension can help.

Hope these ideas help you guys.

[cliff]

I thank you all for your kind thoughts and advice. I have a degenerite neuromuscular disease very similar to motor neuron. While my body wastes away my mind, thankfully, remains sharp most of the time. It really depends on how many 'happy' pills I have to take on any certain day to keep the pain to manageable levels. For me there is no cure at the moment and to make matters worse just recently I have lost my licence to drive so I will never again enjoy the thrill of driving some of the old trucks I love so much. Also my ability to walk has become very hard just lately. However I am determined to keep going one day at a time and I believe I will still be kicking (or trying to) when they screw the lid down for the last time.

If I was fit and able I would have a real truck in my garage now just like most of you do. However I make do with my research and the making of my 1/35th scale models. Models of trucks I would love to own. I ask a lot of you for imformation and you all add to my thirst for knowledge and for making my models more accurate. I do have to take into concideration the construction of the model so have to compremise in places to make it work as it is a model and not a real truck scaled down.

Keith I put the comment about you and Mike wishing I would bug off very tongue in cheek as I know you do not think that way at all and I do not expect people to drop what they are doing just to do some things for me. I really appreciate the information that you folk do give out.

I am also very guilty : of 'borrowing' pictures off websites and forgetting who to give credit to when I load them up onto "Roo's Truck Archives" for other modelers to use as reference in Armorama's gallery as well and this is what started this thread from Bill. (see the thread this forum called 'CMP engine pics wanted')

To Bill I wish you the very best and I hope the doc can come up with some medication that will help you and also let you become 'our old Bill' again.

I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me, rather keep this Forum flowing with all the marvelous Information and friendship that we have Geoff to thank for in setting this Forum up.

That is all I will ever post on this illness issue so . everyone and thanks, thanks for the info and the friendship

Bill, you and I do not know each other, but I'd like to add to Geoff's post:

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I don't know what to say except thank you for your trust in us to share what you have. We're on your side, my friend. If there's ANYTHING we can do, you have but to ask.

Hear, hear; me too.

R.

[gordon]

... but you've made me realise I've run out of my BP pills so I'd better walk down to the doctors for a repeat prescription.

What did I do when I got BP readings that were headed in the same direction?

Diet ( down 12Kg at last count)
Exercise ( helped with the 12Kg...)
No salt ( obvious )
Pills ( as mentioned above )
Truck ( I bought one more, plus a trailer )

I think buying another truck is not an internationally-recognised treatment yet but it worked for me.

Tense? worked-up? mind racing all over the place? Go to the garage, put a battered lump of truck on the bench, and pound it back to shape - works for me

Gordon

Originally posted by gordon
... Tense? worked-up? mind racing all over the place? Go to the garage, put a battered lump of truck on the bench, and pound it back to shape - works for me

Gordon has a point.

I have a large green and black multi-gym that affords excellent all-round exercise, these occasionally are seen for sale under the heading of Stalwart, Alvis, truck, HMLC/Limber, FV622/623. :
Of late I have also used some circuit training that involves the sorting and pin removal of some 200 FV102 track links, on loan, into individual parts and then re-assembling these into 5 link sets to be used as weight training.

The owner tells me the next fitness training phase necessitates I connect the above into 85L lengths and fit these to a small tank. Hmmmmm, I think I'll be needing another after all this.

R.

[Bill Murray]

Evening all:

Decided to wait until after the storm of the day at the store to respond.

One of the things I most enjoy about this merry bunch of maids and men is that in the end the marvelous Empire/Commonwealth sense of humour and pluck keeps all of us going.

I am sure it is quite obvious neither Cliff nor I, nor Carmen for that matter, are looking for sympathy. Just explaining why, well at least in Carmen's and my case, we get a bit batty once in a while. We are all adults here (note I did not say mature adults) and we take what we are given and do the best we can with it.
So, enough of that trend of thought.

On a practical note, at least in my case, Pat has convinced me to buy a mini-gym thingie which is recommended to tone up my wearing out parts and get me in a little better shape. As well, my sawbones gave me a link to a sort of "smokers anonymous" web site that she tells me has an amazing success rate. Much as I like my Camels, I am going to give it a shot.

Regarding this particular forum, may I christen it a family, with all due respect to GWB, it is rather small in terms of members in comparison with all of the myriad of military history sites on the web. I see postings on many of those other forums by members of this one and I think they will verify that this one is the closest knit, most genuinely supportive of its membership of pretty much anything out there on the net. I can't really believe I said that.



On to other things. Cliff, may I say in the clear (regarding your PM of yesterday), I would like to offer to send you anything you can use for spares out of my sort of large collection of Tamiya, Italeri and a few other brands of CMP kits. I no longer have the lust to build models, you do, and it might save you some time and money. I know how expensive it is to get stuff cast in resin and I have a lot of complete and partially complete kits that I would really like for you to have to use as you can.

Humour, humour, humour, I am thinking......... Aha I have it.
My scanner took a dump last week and after fiddling around for several days I took it back to the srore where I purchased it.
Turns out it is discontinued (Duuuh) but they had a "floor sample" that had never been turned on and they gave me that one. Got it home tonight and it doesn't work either. Seems the disc I used to install it in the first place may have been bad and the PC does not recognize it and several attempts to reinstall the program have come to nothing. I think I am just going to buy another current model and give the other one up as a bad job.

Last lines, speaking of humour, did any of you bother to watch the first of three (ZZZZZZZ) presidential debates last night between Bush and Kerry. When I lived in Europe, well really Scandinavia, I used to watch the BBC broadcasts of debates in Parliament and was fairly amused. Actually, watching the Swedish Riksdag (Stellan, I may have misspelled the word) was also kind of fun too after I got a feel for the lingo. I think we could take the prize for much ado about nothing though.
Gents and ladies, my meds are putting me down and a couple of draughts of the Scottish elixer are taking their toll as well so I think it is best if I sign off for this one. Unless, of course, someone has a smashing response.


Bill

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Gents and ladies, my meds are putting me down and a couple of draughts of the Scottish elixir are taking their toll as well so I think it is best if I sign off for this one. Unless, of course, someone has a smashing response.

Not "smashing", this, but you can't go wrong with a dram or two of The Creature as a time-tested medication in its own right. Cheers to YOU, sir.

G.

[cliff]

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Evening all:


On to other things. Cliff, may I say in the clear (regarding your PM of yesterday), I would like to offer to send you anything you can use for spares out of my sort of large collection of Tamiya, Italeri and a few other brands of CMP kits. I no longer have the lust to build models, you do, and it might save you some time and money. I know how expensive it is to get stuff cast in resin and I have a lot of complete and partially complete kits that I would really like for you to have to use as you can.


Bill

Bill I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind offer. I will of course humbly accept this generous offer. I will PM my address to you.

I also agree that this forum and the folk in it are like a family and I am glad to be a member of this family.

this also will be my last responce to this thread...unless of course I discover miracle cures for us all while researching my next project.

Cliff

[Bill Murray]

I agree with Cliff that this thread needs to end.

Not, however without a last attempt at levity.
Thanks to the master of emoticons or whatever they are called, I can tell you that Cliff and I are becoming the best of mates.:love:

Bill

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

[Bill Murray]

Well, maybe one more .
Got me Geoff but I did not have the chance to choose the emoticon, closest I could get but ribald nonetheless.
And, don't you start any bloody rumours.

Cliff has the advantage, he has his wife and his own tactics to run that Holden Monaro wheelchair thingie that he speeds around in (look him up on the armorama site).

Ours is a platonic friendship.


Cheers as always:
Bill

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

...and to you my friend, with best wishes.

Have another wee dram of The Creature, on me.

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Certainly my friend Hanno has suffered through a number of situations with me such as posting 5 PMs to try to get a web site address to him. I have been guilty of many similar lapses of proper syntax, grammar, spelling and of course my dumbness in figuring out who posted the pics Hanno led us to on the thread on the Ford engine pic request.

Bill, if anyone needs to apologise it is me, not you. Very impolitely, I don't always answer e-mails, even if it is to say "thanks for your five messages on the same subject" Struggling with my PC is one reason, finding time for my various interests in between work & family is another. Not a good excuse, but be sure it isn't because I want you to bug off. On the contrary!

Regarding your condition: my dad is in his 70's and has had high blood pressure for the last 12 years. I'm happy to tell you than during a recent check the doctors established his condition has not worsened over that time, due to taking care of what he eats and medication - this however has changed a lot of the years. One time he consumed huge quantities of carotene which made his skin look like he was sunbathing all the time! All I wanted to say with this is that if a certain pill does not work for you, go to the doctor and get another medicine.

Bill - and Cliff - hang in there, keep up the good work you're doing here and elsewhere and let me know if I can help. From now on I will give your messages top priority.

All the best,

Hanno

P.S.: As for short term memory loss, isn't it nice to make new friends every day?

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Cliff has the advantage, he has his wife and his own tactics to run that Holden Monaro . . . . . . .

Oooooooooo, we LIKE those. . .

R.

[cliff]

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Well, maybe one more .


Cliff has the advantage, he has his wife and his own tactics to run that Holden Monaro wheelchair thingie that he speeds around in (look him up on the armorama site).

yes and I am starting to look around for an electric super charged
one as well .:

But hell they are as expensive (or almost) as the real thing too.

cheers
Cliff

[Gunner]

One hopes that it has big knobbly tyres, right hand drive and a data plate that says "Made in Canada"!

Cheers! Mike

[cliff]

Originally posted by Gunner
One hopes that it has big knobbly tyres, right hand drive and a data plate that says "Made in Canada"!

Cheers! Mike

funny you should say that Mike as it is an imported Canadian type that I am looking at at this moment in time.

[Gunner]