Rugby World Cup

Ganmain Tony · #1 12-09-11, 11:33

Dear Wife,

1. From 9 September to 23 October, 2011, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the Rugby World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the Rugby World Cup, the television is mine, MySky, the VCR and DVD are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it.

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor… it won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two 12 packs of stubbies in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please, if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say ‘get over it, it’s only a game’, or ‘don’t worry, they’ll win next time’. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about rugby than me and your so called ‘words of encouragement’ will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime, but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note, I am saying ‘one’ game; hence do not use the Rugby World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to ‘spend time together’..

8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times, and record them.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a. I will not go,
b. I will not go, and
c. I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying, ‘But you have already seen this… why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?’

12. Please save your expressions such as, ‘Thank goodness the Rugby World Cup is only every four years’. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the reruns of the Rugby World Cup, etc, etc.

13. And finally, if you are female and your “man” likes rugby less than you, he is not a real man and shall be bound by these rules and additionally be referred to as “the bitch” for the duration of the Rugby World Cup.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Your husband

Mike Kelly · #2 12-09-11, 11:39

It always amazes me that the KIWIS crow about their team.

It's a religion over there with about 3 million players . When they beat us , which happens mostly, they are actually playing against a team that is comprised of players from about a dozen private schools in the Sydney and Brisbane areas.

Howard · #3 13-09-11, 00:53

Holden New Zealand have released the "All Black" edition Commodore. Comes with an automatic choke.

There. My total football joke repitior is now on display.

D Ellery · #4 13-09-11, 07:37

Good one, like it. I was downtown Auckland for the opening party, by the numbers present I think half of the North Island was there. Been quite a few negatives surrounding the public transport debacle on the night but besides that its great to be part of something positive for once. Of note are the numbers of international fans present. For our North American friends Canada and USA are here playing. Check out the opening ceremony on youtube. Go the all Blacks. sorry couldn't help myself

Ken Hughes · #5 13-09-11, 08:49

Well I am one of those odd kiwis,I couldnt give a toss about rugby even though i used to play the game,more important things to do now days

Keith Webb · #6 13-09-11, 11:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ken Hughes

Well I am one of those odd kiwis,I couldnt give a toss about rugby even though i used to play the game,more important things to do now days

Excellent point Kenney. You could choose instead to watch "Year of the Blitz" 1 and 2.

Local Chap · #7 11-10-11, 23:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard

There. My total football joke repitior is now on display.

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the
only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

D Ellery · #8 12-10-11, 07:00

LOL. Sweet as bro

D Ellery · #9 16-10-11, 06:55

A few more hours and the big rugger match will be all on. The 2 best teams in the world to clash to see who will play the French in the final for the World Cup, (the winner tonight has it in the bag). Australia hasn't won a game against the AB's at Eden Park since 1986, here's hoping that wont change as this game will be down to the wire.