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  #1  
Old 24-01-05, 00:58
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Post Some Funnies

-Did you hear about the buddist who refused Novacain during a root canal!!??
His goal:Transcend dental medication!!

Okay I know that was bad but wait for this one!!@@##

-Mahatma Gandi walked barefoot most of the time,producing an impressive set of calluses on his feet.He also ate very little,making him rather frail,and with his odd diet,he suffered from bad breath.
This made him" a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"
Hey,what do you want from aRobbie Burn's Supper.At least i remembered the jokes.Now,where did I misplace me drum??
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  #2  
Old 24-01-05, 01:38
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Humor Time on a cold Sunday-Groan

Quote:
Originally posted by Garry Shipton
-Did you hear about the buddist who refused Novacain during a root canal!!??
His goal:Transcend dental medication!!

Okay I know that was bad but wait for this one!!@@##

-Mahatma Gandi walked barefoot most of the time,producing an impressive set of calluses on his feet.He also ate very little,making him rather frail,and with his odd diet,he suffered from bad breath.
This made him" a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"
Hey,what do you want from aRobbie Burn's Supper.At least i remembered the jokes.Now,where did I misplace me drum??
Ya got me laughin' Garry A good belly laugh on a cold day warms the mind Thanks!

(got any more?)
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  #3  
Old 24-01-05, 02:37
Keith Webb's Avatar
Keith Webb Keith Webb is offline
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Default Cold cure

Having experienced part of two of your winters I can definitely say it's better to be downunder this time of year... here's a shot of the barbie yesterday just prior to "putting another shrimp on".

Come on down, you cool Canucks!
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  #4  
Old 24-01-05, 02:39
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Keith Webb Keith Webb is offline
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Default Hot here

With a predicted top of 37C tomorrow even the titfer is in her "hot" position of repose... this is Mrs. Bigglesworth, a Cornish Rex.
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  #5  
Old 24-01-05, 04:33
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Default Keefy!!STOP!!

Stop telling us how warm it is down under,AND the photo of the shrimp on the barbie=low blow-I live by my B-B-Q.Right now it's - 25C with the wind chill factor=-35C
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  #6  
Old 24-01-05, 04:38
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Default Re: Re: Humor Time on a cold Sunday-Groan

Quote:
Originally posted by Vets Dottir
Ya got me laughin' Garry A good belly laugh on a cold day warms the mind Thanks!

(got any more?)
Well Karmen,after the Robbie Burns' stag I remembered at least two jokes.It was an amazing evening.One guy in from Calgary,one in from Newfoundland,a whole table of Black Watch including two ex commanding officers,and all the scotch you can drink FREE.NOW where did I put that damn drum,and where did that Drambuie drinking pipe major disappear too?
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  #7  
Old 24-01-05, 04:51
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Tony Smith Tony Smith is offline
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Default Re: Re: Re: Humor Time on a cold Sunday-Groan

Quote:
Originally posted by Garry Shipton
Well Karmen,after the Robbie Burns' stag I remembered at least two jokes.It was an amazing evening.One guy in from Calgary,one in from Newfoundland,a whole table of Black Watch including two ex commanding officers,and all the scotch you can drink FREE.NOW where did I put that damn drum,and where did that Drambuie drinking pipe major disappear too?
What would be really funny would be the joke teller being well inebriated, talking in a thick scots accent and trying to say "A super calloused, fragile mystic, hexed by Halitosis" six times fast.
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  #8  
Old 24-01-05, 05:15
Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)'s Avatar
Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP) Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP) is offline
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Default Garry's right...

PISS OFF, KEEFY!!!!!!!!

We're freezing here, and spending a fortune on heating oil/gas, never mind the short days which drive some of us nuts anyway...

BTW, what kind of animal is that? Looks like a cross between a dog and a cat... does she kill on command?

I think I'm losing my mind (if I ever had one to lose - some seem to doubt that these days)...

Bloody hell, just looked at the clock and realized I'm up in six hours, night all...
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  #9  
Old 24-01-05, 05:22
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Keith Webb Keith Webb is offline
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Default For you in the morning, then

Geoff,

I think she must have escaped from the Roswell incident, perhaps from a parallel universe.

No, she doesn't kill on command, but has a huge personality and is lots of fun.

How's the rib?
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  #10  
Old 24-01-05, 05:50
Snowtractor Snowtractor is offline
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Default Re Barby shrimp

Hmmm, send 'em on up. To make all you southerners feel better , last weds it was -41 with 30km wind giving a windchill of -56 here. Yup, I had to work. We have had unrelenting deep cold since the second week of november it hasn't been above -20 until today. Which is unusual even up here. Today it hit -12 and you would swear it was summer, hard to believe that -12 is 29 degrees warmer than -41. Now, I know that is simply math but put it this way..if it were 0 degrees today and 29 degrees (82f) tomorrow girls would be out in bikinis instead of mukluks.
Sean

ps and while you guys were roasting in oct we had snow and will have so until may, so a little pain now will make cottage country that mcuh more fun this summer...cheers
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  #11  
Old 24-01-05, 06:34
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: For you in the morning, then

Quote:
Originally posted by Keith Webb

How's the rib?
I know what ya know ya Aussie twit (saorry ... thats the vodka talking )
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  #12  
Old 24-01-05, 07:02
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re: Re: Humor Time on a cold Sunday-Groan

Quote:
Originally posted by Garry Shipton
Well Karmen,after the Robbie Burns' stag I remembered at least two jokes.It was an amazing evening.One guy in from Calgary,one in from Newfoundland,a whole table of Black Watch including two ex commanding officers,and all the scotch you can drink FREE.NOW where did I put that damn drum,and where did that Drambuie drinking pipe major disappear too?
Scotch ... oh yeah yeah ... sounds positively intoxicating my friend.

I actually met some young fellows from the Black Watch in Nelson a couple (?) of years ago.... amazingly young. Very interesting ... and very very Scottish accents.... they were great young lads!

I'm hoping to taste some Haggis ... which I know through experience tastes much like the Buckwheat Sausage of my childhood! I used to watch my stepfather (german) make that ... I also watched the butchering of the pigs... yuk... bleed them first right? ... then sausage making in the intestines as sausage-holders. Hmmmm my friend... you bring back the visual memori3s for sure ... and the taste!!! I LOVED and STILL love buckwheat sausage... so I darned well better get to taste some Haggis for the Rpobbie Burns Day!!!

No Black Watch in this House... but I do have access to a Scottish Highlander ... he MUST have a KILT ... if not , darn it, he can wear mine while we listen to "The Music Of Scotland" by the National Scottish Pipe and Drum Corps and Military Band CD!
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  #13  
Old 24-01-05, 07:06
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re: For you in the morning, then

Quote:
Originally posted by Vets Dottir
I know what ya know ya Aussie twit (saorry ... thats the vodka talking )
\\

BTW Keefy old boy, that kitty-cat certainly looks like a cross between an Abbysinian (spelling?) and a Calico???
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  #14  
Old 24-01-05, 07:10
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re Barby shrimp

Quote:
Originally posted by Snowtractor
ps and while you guys were roasting in oct we had snow and will have so until may, so a little pain now will make cottage country that mcuh more fun this summer...cheers
Hmmmm ... and what must THIS country-side look like in Spring and Summer??? I dream of blossoms and leaf buds lately? This winter ... is too dammed long But I'll hold the thoughts and images of Spring and Cottage Country in mind .... until we get there!

My RA is REALLY acting up in this cold.... and I thought the Left-Coast was bad :
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  #15  
Old 24-01-05, 07:30
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Keith Webb Keith Webb is offline
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Default Re: Re: Re: For you in the morning, then

Quote:
Originally posted by Vets Dottir
\\

BTW Keefy old boy, that kitty-cat certainly looks like a cross between an Abbysinian (spelling?) and a Calico???
Abyssinian... and we have one of those too, although they don't really like each other.

Funny you should say that, her previous name was Calico.
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  #16  
Old 24-01-05, 07:32
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re: Re: Re: For you in the morning, then

Quote:
Originally posted by Keith Webb
Abyssinian... and we have one of those too, although they don't really like each other.

Funny you should say that, her previous name was Calico.
Hey Keefy ... you oughta know by now that I'm a smatrt cookie (even tho I can't bluddy type)

MA
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  #17  
Old 24-01-05, 22:30
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Default Re: Re: Re: Re: Humor Time on a cold Sunday-Groan

Quote:
Originally posted by Tony Smith
What would be really funny would be the joke teller being well inebriated, talking in a thick scots accent and trying to say "A super calloused, fragile mystic, hexed by Halitosis" six times fast.
Scots accents!!Why do you think I only understood a few jokes.All the jocks would laugh at at joke while we colonials would shrug our heads,looking at each other and saying,"What did he say?"
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  #18  
Old 25-01-05, 07:11
Richard Notton
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Default Re: Garry's right...

Quote:
Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I think I'm losing my mind (if I ever had one to lose - some seem to doubt that these days)...
Oh!
Just "these days", hmmmmmm.

R.
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  #19  
Old 25-01-05, 07:18
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re: Garry's right...

Quote:
Originally posted by FV623
Oh!
Just "these days", hmmmmmm.

R.
tsk tsk tsk and now, now you two laddies, play nicely in the sandbox or you won't get any Haggis and Scotch or get to stay up for the stories ...
says MA

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  #20  
Old 25-01-05, 08:17
Richard Notton
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Default Re: Re: Re: Garry's right...

Quote:
Originally posted by Vets Dottir
or you won't get any Haggis and Scotch or get to stay up for the stories ...
says MA

Haggis? Yuk.

Scotch? YukČ.

Stay up? The way I work, involuntary unconsciousness by 21:00.

R.
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  #21  
Old 26-01-05, 01:45
Bruce MacMillan Bruce MacMillan is offline
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Default the warm left coast

All this talk of cold weather in Canada is going to give us a complex and a false impression to those elsewhere. There is one little spot in southwestern British Columbia known as Lotusland. It encompasses Victoria and Greater Vancouver where we are warmed by the Japan current. But it is winter now, Brrrr! It must be +10 C. I hope it doesn't chill my budding roses!
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  #22  
Old 26-01-05, 01:56
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Default Left coast weather

From what we're hearing here back east,you better put life jackets on your roses before they drown, from all the rain you're getting!!
Garry
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  #23  
Old 26-01-05, 03:01
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: the warm left coast

Quote:
Originally posted by Bruce MacMillan
All this talk of cold weather in Canada is going to give us a complex and a false impression to those elsewhere. There is one little spot in southwestern British Columbia known as Lotusland. It encompasses Victoria and Greater Vancouver where we are warmed by the Japan current. But it is winter now, Brrrr! It must be +10 C. I hope it doesn't chill my budding roses!
So ... does this mean you see crocuses already?
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  #24  
Old 26-01-05, 04:05
Bruce MacMillan Bruce MacMillan is offline
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Default crocs

The crocs have been up for a week. We had a sunset tonight, just a teaser though. The rain is mother nature's way of keeping our lawns green and our streets clean. At least we don't have to shovel it, or bulldoze it! If this keeps up I'll have to mow the lawn in another week.
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  #25  
Old 26-01-05, 06:51
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: crocs

Quote:
Originally posted by Bruce MacMillan
The crocs have been up for a week. We had a sunset tonight, just a teaser though. The rain is mother nature's way of keeping our lawns green and our streets clean. At least we don't have to shovel it, or bulldoze it! If this keeps up I'll have to mow the lawn in another week.
Yes ... I remember how that goes But do be careful ... you may need amphibious vehicles to deal with the water you're all getting these days. BTW ... I lived in Vancouver for 17 years (East) and in Victoria for 8 years (Victoria AND Langford/Colwood area) ... have been to Salt Spring island (beautiful) and of course North Van ... sounds awful over there right now. ... more rain/water that I've seen there and I can only imagine with all thge mountainy/hilly areas how unstable things must be right now. Maple Ridge I don't know so well ... just remember it's beautiful area.

Enjoy the crocs ... and I'm sure the daffoldils aren't far behind. Hopefully the rain is about done and things will stabilize that way again soon.

Karmen
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  #26  
Old 26-01-05, 06:54
Vets Dottir
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Default Re: Re: Re: Re: Garry's right...

Quote:
Originally posted by FV623
Haggis? Yuk.

Scotch? YukČ.

Stay up? The way I work, involuntary unconsciousness by 21:00.

R.
Well then ... how bout some VEGEMITE and SPAM? I got the VEGEMITE ... Master Sunray got the SPAM We'll share, hold the haggis and the Scotch and we'll chow down before lights out for you?
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  #27  
Old 26-01-05, 07:19
Keith Webb's Avatar
Keith Webb Keith Webb is offline
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Default Vegemite

I have video evidence of Geoff trying Vegemite on toast and exclaiming: "not bad", so I think you can feed it to him with confidence, Carmen.
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  #28  
Old 26-01-05, 22:17
Richard Notton
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Default Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Garry's right...

Quote:
Originally posted by Vets Dottir
Well then ... how bout some VEGEMITE and SPAM? I got the VEGEMITE ... Master Sunray got the SPAM We'll share, hold the haggis and the Scotch and we'll chow down before lights out for you?
Yup, Vegemite and Spam sounds just fine to me, need at least one decent mug of tea though.

R.
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  #29  
Old 26-01-05, 23:26
Vets Dottir
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Default 2 birds ... one frying pan

MASTER KEITH ... SUNRAY has promised to feed me SPAM AND EGGS for supper tonght ... I'll tell you all about the experience afterwards

MASTER R. ... wanna me to send you some of the BILLY TEA that SALESMAN BOB sent me? I still have some left ...
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  #30  
Old 27-01-05, 23:14
Garry Shipton (RIP) Garry Shipton (RIP) is offline
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Default Another cold day joke!!

An elderly gentleman,mid ninties,well groomed,new suit,flower in lapel,smelling of a good aftershave,walks into the cocktail lounge at Happy Hour.He spots an elderly lady(mid eighties)sittin at the bar.So,he walks over and sits beside her and orders a cocktail.When it comes,he takes a sip,puts the drink down on the bar,looks at her and asks-"So tell me,do I come here often"?
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