Some Funnies

[Keith Webb]

This made me laugh.

[aj.lec]

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,

Slim,

Tall,

38D breast,

24" waist and

34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Submitted by Henk Minne:

Marrying a woman from Canada

The first man married a woman from Houston ,Texas. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from South Carolina. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from CANADA. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally Posted by Hanno Spoelstra

Submitted by Henk Minne:

Hanno: It's so difficult to type when tears of laughter are still streaming down my cheeks.

This would be particularly true if he married a Newfoundlander!

Good one.

[Brian Gough]

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian

[aj.lec]

Lubricant

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this,

but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.


He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'


The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'


The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'


Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'


When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,


'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'


Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a good ting we didn't use WD-40.

[aj.lec]

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me' said one boy.. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..'

He just knew what it was.. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth.

Let's see if we can see the Lord..'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all.... Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

[aj.lec]

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an

intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the

fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.

Schitt, Inc.They had one son, Jack.



In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious

couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla

Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.



Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were

living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.



Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the ne wspaper announced

the *Schitt-Happens* nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were

Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.



Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.



Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them.



Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

I thought this was funny..having grand kids and having put the odd pair of boots on my own kids see the humour here..

Teachers out there will relate..

The Winter Boots


(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?
He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.'
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so? ' like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry.
But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'
He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

[Eric Korhonen]

Newfoundland Declares War on the USA.




President Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Obama," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Obama replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Obama paused. "I must tell you Archie that we have one million men in our army waiting to move on my command."

"Holyjeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"



Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Obama asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that we have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased our army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard t'underin' bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Obama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that we have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. Our military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased our army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Obama . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGoXf...layer_embedded

[Ganmain Tony]

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple: Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.

“As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth.

“Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:


Rebecca (PINK)
Bill (BLUE).


THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much, her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Bill)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Bill)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

(Bill)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered, tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh, no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

A$$h@le.

(Bill)

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Bill)

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.


(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.



So did I LOL Ganmain Tony

[Keith Webb]

This is good.



Source

[Lang]

I think my previous heading was too "subtle" and possibly offensive to those who did not enlarge the thumbnail so : Wee Willy out for an airing on the Queen's visit!

[cliff]

Mathematical Logic


This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint.....it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, but it is the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

[Keith Webb]

Love it when things are reduced to basics:

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in Yass had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the croc.'

Some old men can still think fast.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles had retired to their room at the palace.

Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling, ones feet are killing one.'

Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.

'Harder' yelled Camilla.

'Harder?' Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'

'Come on give it all you've got' she cried.

Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed 'Oh God, that feels so good.'

In their bedroom next door the Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said,
'See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that!'

Meanwhile back in the other bedroom, Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh God, darling this one's even tighter'

At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen:
'That's my boy, Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!'

[Mk1rceme]

The Royal Fart...

[Mk1rceme]

A local lad...

[aj.lec]

A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out "one letter" in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email....obviously to the wrong address.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 4th November, 2009

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. it's F***ing hot down here!

[lynx42]

This test will only take one minute and only has one question, but it's a very
important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you
will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.



THE SITUATION:

You are in Queensland , Brisbane to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a cyclone, with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in
the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the
water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.



THE TEST:

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You
move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realize who it is..

It's Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd!

You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.






You have two options:

1. You can save his life; or



2. You can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the
death of one of the country's most powerful men!









THE QUESTION:


Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...



Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic
simplicity of black and white?

[cliff]

Originally Posted by lynx42

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic
simplicity of black and white?

I'd go for colour as I could always photoshop the images for black and white copies...That is after I had sobered up from the celebration party.

[aj.lec]

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole,

All live together in a little mole hole.



One day, papa mole sticks his head

Out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,

' Yum! I smell maple syrup!'



The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,

Sniffs the air and said, 'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'


Now baby mole is trying to stick his head

Out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't

Because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine, 'Geez, all I can smell is.....



MOLASSES !

[aj.lec]

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,

Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a cheque,

She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

And tries to write with it..

When she realizes her mistake,

She looks at the flabbergasted teller

And without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great....that's just great...




Some asshole's got my pen!'

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

I've often been asked,

'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?

Well..I'm working on a chemical engineering

degree, and one of the things I enjoy most is

turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas

into urine.

[Keith Webb]

Tea for two?



via

[aj.lec]

AHHH so thats Lazy Susan Keith
would have to be one strong table if she was sitting in the middle of it though

Of a similar vintage

A 1919 Poster
The comment attached at the bottom read
I mean seriously, would you quit drinking?

[aj.lec]

Italian Tomato Garden:

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.


That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

[aj.lec]

Dating in 1965

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1965 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in. "Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced Tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Really?" Fred replied; eyebrows rising.

"Oh yes," the mother continued. "When she goes
out with her friends, that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip!" Fred said as he began
thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse and a poodle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids!" her mother called as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

"It's 'The Twist', Mom!" she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen.

"The freakin' dance is called the Twist!”