Britain & the EU - What's Happening?

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
HAHA, fat chance you bloody Victorian Imperialist Leftover! Us Colonial Upstarts will have you yet, nay, provide you with Sanctuary against the Great EU Uprising! Recognize your Betters!

Hmmmmm, I shall have to have another ciggy and tea whilst cogitating how to contain the over-revving Ball-Spinny.


Now if you'd been really cute you could have said " Victorian Imperialist Leftover Empireist", handily shortened to V.I.L.E.

Tis a fact too that there is already quite an exodus of people that can from this over-regulated isle to places warmer and more laid back.

Not to worry because they are being replaced by floods of economic refugee holidaymakers who we really need according to the Govt here that has conveniently massaged/lied about the figures to the tune of 100,000 according to one now broken whistle-blower who has fallen foul of every aspect of The Official Secrets Act but whose integrity has been sheepishly confirmed by the ruling powers.

I can only presume the "need" must be to give govt support to the hotel trade here and to reduce the social security cash mountain that obviously exists.

Perhaps its time to treat the Euro drain pipe, which others know as the Channel Tunnel, to the same action as Mr Shickelgruber's V3 HDP in Marquise-Mimoyecques.

The last time we were overtly invaded was 1066, I don't see why we should change now; seems to me this little island has served us well for the last 938 years.

Maybe I need more tea and a ciggy. . . . . .



R.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by FV623
The last time we were overtly invaded was 1066, I don't see why we should change now; seems to me this little island has served us well for the last 938 years.

Yes, I'd forgotten - you were there then too, weren't you? Don't recall seeing you at the time, though...

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Question - haven't heard much recently, what's the status socially and politically? And how does it interface with this whole EU thing? Will it be a factor in the coming EU vote?

Going for a ciggie now...

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
Yes, I'd forgotten - you were there then too, weren't you? Don't recall seeing you at the time, though...

Well, it was a bit cold on Senlac Hill in October so I went off into Hastings itself for some baccy and a cup of tea. I stayed chatting to an interesting guy about old army trucks all day and when I got back William had conned Harold into an ambush and won.

Bit of a bummer really, but the Saxons did bring some new words which are very efficatious at freeing bits of recalcitrant truck and upsetting people.

'Parrently Williams Saxons had been verbally abusing the Harold's Normans all morning with the new-fangled words such that they ran down from the excellent defensive position on Senlac Hill where William saw them off.

I buggered off back to Hastings for some more tea and a smoke.




R.

[gordon]

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
Question - haven't heard much recently, what's the status socially and politically? And how does it interface with this whole EU thing? Will it be a factor in the coming EU vote?
Going for a ciggie now...

1. Good.
2. Don't know, and I live here...
3. It doesn't.
4. Probably...:

The Scots were given just enough independence to stop them from revolting (?) but it stopped well short of complete autonomy. A lot of folk round here didn't really notice the difference until it emerges the Scottish politicians had spent £500 million (yes folks, read that figure again - we're talking enough money to build a fleet of Stollies and sail then round the world continuously at full throttle) - on a parliament building that isn't finished yet, thus proving Scottish politicians are every bit as inept as the English variety.

The bottom line would be that 'we' don't trust politicians of any nationality, but conversely there appears to be general concensus on the point that the European Parliament might offer a better chance for Scottish advancement than leaving it to those oh-so-friendly but ultimately useless people in Westminster.

Me? I want to know where the £500 million went, I'm going to stand at the border and check everybody heading south for pockets full of large denomination currency.

Gordon

smoking ? yuck, I've got trucks to do that for me.

[JD Baillie]

Gordon,
They are not trying to finnish that pillar thing in Edinbourough? What do they call it Edinbourough's Embarrassment?

JD

[gordon]

.... but " Edinburgh's Embarassment " has a nice ring to it.

Can you imagine the number of hospitals and generally useful things you could have bought with that money ?:

Anyway, Canada, that's where the future lies (Sean tells me...) Just need to persuade you all there's room for me and the missus.

G

[JD Baillie]

Gordon,
Couple of cautions about comming over here... first you get to watch OUR politicians spend money in ways that will simply astound you...( twenty million dollars on free give away Canadian flags without toggles or grommets to hoist them with... suppose that's our culture? You may have a flag but please don't hoist it?)
AND we seem to go to Europe on a regular basis and bail the Brits out of trouble. ... good for our reputation though.
The up side is that our Northwest territories still have land available for homesteading.
Unfortunately the Selkirk settlements are no longer available.

JD

[gordon]

... it seemed like the NWT was the place to go, or at least visit, but I think long term somewhere marginally further south would be favoured.

I've quite an interest in the Alcan, Canol, and Northwest Staging Route projects so I'd like to just drive up and down there in my spare time. Sean tells me there's plenty of road for that...

As for politicians, I'll grant that Canadian ones might be as bad as British ones, but I doubt they have the flair to be as devious as our bunch. In between airlines going bust, you can usually fly from Calgary or Edmonton straight to Glasgow so it's not as if getting 'home' would be a big deal.

Canada has plenty of space, which is something that's sadly lacking round here - too many politicians per square mile.

G

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

methinks southern Alberta is the place to retire to... they seem to share our "old-fashioned" values out there. Plus, they hate federal [Liberal] politicians!

[DaveCox]

Is Hudson's Bay still available?
That's where some of my ancestors ended up after the English kicked them out of the highlands. Made money in the fur trade, came back to England and lost the whole bloody packet in three generations.
Now I'd still like to take my family out to Victoria we're too skint to be allowed in... now if I win the lottery!

Originally posted by gordon

The Scots were given just enough independence to stop them from revolting (?) but it stopped well short of complete autonomy. A lot of folk round here didn't really notice the difference until it emerges the Scottish politicians had spent £500 million (yes folks, read that figure again - we're talking enough money to build a fleet of Stollies and sail then round the world continuously at full throttle) - on a parliament building that isn't finished yet, thus proving Scottish politicians are every bit as inept as the English variety.

smoking ? yuck, I've got trucks to do that for me.

Good Heavens, we send you about 14 billion a month in pocket money, and you get the British Army, RAF and Navy for free.

I'll need another to calm down.

R.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by FV623
I'll need another to calm down.

Have one of these too... it works just as well if not better! Combined, no one can beat us...

[gordon]

Originally posted by FV623
Good Heavens, we send you about 14 billion a month in pocket money, and you get the British Army, RAF and Navy for free.

I'll need another to calm down.

R.

Yes, of course you do, and we send you all that black oily stuff south through those pipelines so you don't moan. By the time we pay the interest charges on that !"£$%^& parliament building and the MP's expenses we're left with about enough to fill the fuel tank on the Sno-Cat, which is notably smaller than the Stolly one.

G

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

...is, of course, that politicians everywhere don't know what the hell they're doing, and have a penchant for wasting our money. Canada is a good example... we're uncovering the recent vapourization of approximately 3.5 billion dollars of Canadian taxpayers' money right now, and I am sure there are far more such disappearances still hidden.

Bastards one and all. What ever happened to 'accountability'?

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
Have one of these too... it works just as well if not better! Combined, no one can beat us...

Of course, the amber throat charmer.

Ripper.

R.

Originally posted by gordon
Yes, of course you do, and we send you all that black oily stuff south through those pipelines so you don't moan. By the time we pay the interest charges on that !"£$%^& parliament building and the MP's expenses we're left with about enough to fill the fuel tank on the Sno-Cat, which is notably smaller than the Stolly one.

G

Well, Mr Gordon McSnocat-Dodge, I'd suggest you are sitting down when you see what the Euro MP gravy-train beano costs.

Filling the Stolly tank is indeed a pain, but in fact the only easy job any of us know on the beast, problem is the garage pumps cut off at 100 litres so you have to go in and out four times with your plastic to get a fill.

R.

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
...is, of course, that politicians everywhere don't know what the hell they're doing, and have a penchant for wasting our money.

Bastards one and all. What ever happened to 'accountability'?

Ah, we're all still waiting for an outbreak of official common sense, I think you'll find, Mr. Wall-Binnington, that this will occur sometime after hell freezes over and many eons after my bume-holio fails to point downwards.

I think I'll scoot off momentarily for T and a

R.

[Pete Ashby]

Richard I’m back from the pub and am happy to report I have burnt gallons of gas today moving my Leyland Retriever engine and gearbox to its new home so I’m all fired up on a haze of non green, non PC, non Euro high lead fuel.

Let's start at the beginning…….. Hastings or in English history (actually that means Saxon) that’s about mid way, in British history it’s not even a blinks worth.

Now, I can rightfully claim that one of my ancestors was there…. fighting for the bad guy, on which side where the Notons and Winnington-Balls, those with the arrows and dodgy hair cuts or them with the long droopy moustaches and enormous choppers?

Anyway we kicked some Saxon arse and generally misbehaved for the next two centuries. Serves them right they were interlopers anyway.
Had it not been for the blasted Tudors I would still own most of Northamptonshire part of Warwickshire and bits Leicestershire.

Right the Scottish problem next,

Most of the 14 billion a month is paid by the taxes of those who live in the southeast of England, I know, I pay 40% of it every month.
It makes me feel warm all over to realise that my sacrifice is going towards making Scottish MP's comfy and not sorting out the very real problems of unemployment and under investment in the Highlands, I have close links with Dounreay so I have an idea what the issues are in that part of the world.

Now Alberta.........I have looked at my Readers Digest World Atlas and it looks like it's on the same level as the UK so I guessing the weather is broadly the same? Two questions Do they have bloody great snakes there? And are there bloody great bears wandering around? Both are preferable to being mugged in the street, but at least a chap needs to be prepared.

Yours as ever xenophobicaly

Pete

Originally posted by Tony Smith
Well, Richard, it was YOU that started talking with a Kiwi accent

Streuth!

I must find out what kbd function does that again.


Probably a 2T job at least.

[dougiebarder]

"The Scots were given just enough independence to stop them from revolting"

I thought they were still revolting?

Originally posted by dougiebarder
"The Scots were given just enough independence to stop them from revolting"

I thought they were still revolting?

Oooooooooo. Careful now, I can see a serious possibility of a rectally fitted set of bagpipes should Mr. McSnocat-Dodge hop over Hadrian's divider and come south.

Not a pleasant thought at all it isn't.

R.

Originally posted by Pete Ashby
[B]Richard I’m back from the pub and am happy to report I have burnt gallons of gas today moving my Leyland Retriever engine and gearbox to its new home so I’m all fired up on a haze of non green, non PC, non Euro high lead fuel.

Nothing wrong here, highly commendable; in fact I joined you in spirit having given Alvis a bit of a whizz. In fact there is a heap of bollards about leaded fuel mainly because politicians can't understand science and technology, in-vogue greenies have their ears shut and listen with their mouths.

Simply put, TEL (tetra-ethyl lead) has to be cleared after combustion with a catalyst, a bromide or a chlorine, and it makes a water soluble salt (halide), i.e. it simply washes away. Metallic lead is a very different thing and destroys brain cells.

For example; sodium is a very volatile metal and spontaneously combusts with water, chlorine is seriously poisonous; chemically combined into NaCl we eat it as table salt.

Also worthy of note is the most prevalent greenhouse gas isn't CO2 by a long way, but water vapour; best we all stop breathing and save our environment perhaps.

Let's start at the beginning…….. Hastings or in English history (actually that means Saxon, that’s about mid way, in British history it’s not even a blinks worth.

Now, I can rightfully claim that one of my ancestors was there…. fighting for the bad guy, on which side where the Notons and Winnington-Balls, those with the arrows and dodgy hair cuts or them with the long droopy moustaches and enormous choppers?

Two T's please in Notton, although its still palindromic so I'll let you off, doubtless a carry-over from gas-guzzling and pub run I think.

I can't get back that far, Mrs. Notton has the tree with documentation to the start of official records but that's not far enough at all. I'm afraid I have no idea either which side Mr. Winnington's balls are on either, maybe he had a hand in saving Ryan's privates too.

Mrs. Notton had an enormous chopper, it was made by Mr. Harley and Mr. Davidson in the Yewnighted states of Merriga apparently, and as prophesied it didn't go, stop or handle particularly well, anyway she sold it for a nice little car.

Anyway we kicked some Saxon arse and generally misbehaved for the next two centuries. Seves them right they were interlopers anyway.
Had it not been for the blasted Tudors I would still own most of Northamptonshire part of Warwickshire and bits Leicestershire.

What a bummer, we could have had a brilliant MV show on that lot and not even paid 25 quid for the privilege.

Right the Scottish problem next,

Hmmmmm, Gordon's ears must be a similar colour to his Sno-cat.

Most of the 14 billion a month is paid by the taxes of those who live in the southeast of England, I know, I pay 40% of it every month.

You n' me both; been there, done it, shall I scan my P60?
http://www.i-resign.com/uk/resignationkit/p60.asp for those outside the UK.

It makes me feel warm all over to realise that my sacrifice is going towards making Scottish MP's comfy and not sorting out the very real problems of unemployment and under investment in the Highlands, I have close links with Dounreay so I have an idea what the issues are in that part of the world.

How true.
Errr, isn't Dounreay self-heating?

Now Alberta.........I have looked at my Readers Digest World Atlas and it looks like it's on the same level as the UK so I guessing the weather is broadly the same?

I think not perhaps.

I suspect its cold enough at times to freeze the balls off a brass monkey; which, incidentally, has nothing to do with a metallic primate or its detached gonads. (Answers, guesses or personal abuse from non-UK residents past or present only please.)

Two questions Do they have bloody great snakes there? And are there bloody great bears wandering around? Both are preferable to being mugged in the street, but at least a chap needs to be prepared.

Indeed so, and I have found the nicely machined offerings from Mr. Ruger together with Mssrs. Smith & Wesson in 0.44" size to be extremely efficacious for the former two; however, this remedy is wholly unthinkable here for the latter where it would seem its your fault for being in a position to be waylaid by blackguards and footpads.

My youngest daughter, the girly piggy (_I'm_ allowed to call her that), can tell you all about it, the mountain of paperwork and the revolving court door system. In the first six months she got knifed once - kevlar vests do work, and had a loaded gun to the head - only criminals are allowed guns here.

Somewhere infamously violent ? Nah, genteel Chichester.

Sow the seeds, reap the whirlwind methinks.

Yours as ever xenophobicaly

That's two of us marked down for special attention then.

R.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

I should tell you we were Ingrams back then, in Worcestershire. I'm looking at the reprint of a document granting land to us (I was overseas at the time) in the area of Clifton Upon Teme. It predates Henry II and is in Latin, unfortunately which I haven't used since 1971, and as such am a bit rusty. It's prior to 1290, because dates generally weren't used on such documents until after that.

The grant was by Lucian of Wodemonton, witnessed by Galfredo de Salwalle, Jhanne Maci (John of Macus), Roger of the Cemetery, Elias the Hunter, Roger of Calvescombe, Edward de la Hulle, Walter the Clerk ... and many others.

It goes on from there...

Look up the Noak Farm and the Ham Farm in that area... they're ours.

The Winningtons came into the picture later, together with the Pepys and Spencers... this porridge emerged as Winnington-Ingrams (ie the Bishop of London until '39, Arthur, after whom my father was named), while the Ball bit evolved from Germany to England to Albany to the Niagara region (this last in 1786) and hence to London Ontario and then to Toronto. My Grandfather married Hazel Winnington-Ingram, and the rest, as they say, is history....

Crikey, I need a and a

Back in a bit.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by FV623
Oooooooooo. Careful now, I can see a serious possibility of a rectally fitted set of bagpipes should Mr. McSnocat-Dodge hop over Hadrian's divider and come south.

Not a pleasant thought at all it isn't.

R.

Especially considering SUNRAY is half-Scottish...

Me mum was born in St. Andrews...

[JD Baillie]

"Cold enough to freeze the Winnington's off a brass - Ball..."A nautical term I believe.. something to do with cannon?

As for Calgary... I think it's still snowing there just now... and you're welcome to the city.. nearly a million people scattered around the place. Good thing we don't have a bridge! Keeps those 2.5 millions on the Vancouver side of the water too.

JD

[dougiebarder]

"Oooooooooo. Careful now, I can see a serious possibility of a rectally fitted set of bagpipes should Mr. McSnocat-Dodge hop over Hadrian's divider and come south."

Your fiendish plan to silence me will never work

(I'm part Welsh,so I'll just run to the hill's and hide)

[DaveCox]

My ancestry is pure mongrel. Scots, Welsh and English, though not necessarily in that order...

FV623 - try talking to your MP, and suggesting that we scrap political correctness with a view to sentencing criminals instead of victims. I suggested 1 year hard labour on a bread'n'water diet for every 10p stolen, breaking rocks in a quarry using the head as a hammer, public castration for sexual offences and hanging for all crimes where a weapon is used. MPs don't half vanish quickly when they find out that the public ( ie. their employers) have opinions that don't match their 'party line' !!!!

Chichester - the posh bit of Sussex a hotbed of crime.... you surprise me.

JD - quite correct - the 'monkey' was a tray with holes in that the sailors used to hold their 'ready use' ammo. In cold weather the tray contracted faster than the cast iron balls and caused them to roll around the deck. To coin a phrase - Ooooohhhhh Nasty! LOL

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally posted by FV623
And you can stop grinning McSpool, it applies to Edam & Gouda Land too.

And I was, I admit it. Funny to see how a colonial can wind up his master. Now I know why the colonial has to fill in all sorts of forms and answer many intrusive questions when he is entering the main island of the UK, while I as a EU resident can drive on waving my passport.

And yes indeed, it applies to the land of cheese and clogs too. That's why polls show the Dutch are even less fond of the EU than our British friends(!) Could that be because we are already stuck deeper in it than the people who (still...) have their own currency?

Like Pete said, we ventured into this subject after a few beers on a wet Beltring morning, and I agree wholeheartedly that the there was nothing wrong with the concept of the union. The initial idea was to bring the people of Europe closer together, and thus aid in preventing starting wars again. All participants of this forum have a grasp of how horrible war is, so I'd be surprised that anyone objects to this underlying idea. From experience I know that hardly anything beats mutual understanding than close collaboration.

Collaboration is greatly facilitated by a common market and I feel that is where the EU goes wrong today: instead of solely facilitating the collaboration among Europeans by bringing down the barriers, the EU tends to strive for centralised control by proclaiming all sorts of directives - a consitution even!
You know what? I'd vote for a constitution which has "thy shall not steal" as the first rule. Now, wouldn't that annihilate a large portion of the royal EU household?

H.

[DaveCox]

Quote: I'd vote for a constitution which has "thy shall not steal" as the first rule. Now, wouldn't that annihilate a large portion of the royal EU household?

Nice one Hanno, all the 'gravy train' politicians and swivel servants eliminated in one go, then the people can go back to talking & boozing with each other - the best form of international friendship!