Some Funnies

[aj.lec]

And they say revenge is sweet...........

NEVER CHEAT ON A COUNTRY WOMAN!

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw.

The banged-up-cheater was terrified and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope, you are! I'm gonna burn down the barn!"

[Ganmain Tony]

Robot barman

A man enters a bar and orders a drink.
The bar has a robot barman.
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"
The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global
warming factors, Quantum physics and spirituality, bio-mimicry, environmental
interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and sexual proclivities.



The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool."
He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another
drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "About 100."



Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about league, Holden’s, racing, the new BIG Mac, tattoos, Nicky Watson and women in general.



Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test.
He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?"



The man replies, "Err, 50, I think." And the robot says...real slowly...





"So...............ya gonna vote for Kevin again???"