Some Funnies

[Hanno Spoelstra]

>
>
> An attractive blonde from Cork arrived at the casino. She seemed a
> little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand Euros on a single roll of the
> dice.
>
> She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
> completely nude'.
>
> With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an
> Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'
>
> As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and
> squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!'
>
> She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
> clothes and quickly departed.
>
> The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them
> asked, 'What did she roll?'
>
> The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY:
>
> Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
> but all men...are men.
>
>

[aj.lec]

An early update regarding Christmas in our nation's capital for 2011
I wanted to leak the story early so everyone fully understands.

There will be no Nativity Scene in Canberra this year!
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the Australian Capital this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason.
They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.
A search for a Virgin continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

[aj.lec]

Bracelet at Harrods.


A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely, she unexpectedly farts.


Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little ‘oops’ and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well


Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?


Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of
this lovely bracelet?'


He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going
to shit yourself when I tell you the price!"

[gjamo]

I'm training him to be a 'retriever' but having a little trouble getting him to bring
the pig back to me - - - and I'm not about to kick his arse......Good Dog.

Pic taken Gove Northern Territory

I just had a message from Jarrod in Darwin he tells me that this pic is taken in Africa . Will teach me to double check incoming messages more closely.
Graeme

[Darrell Zinck]

Hiya

With just hours to go I finally got out Christmas tree up. Whew!!

I just love the smell of Pine!!!

regards
Darrell

[Keith Webb]

I saw the first one discarded outside a house last night... Christmas Eve.
I suspect the owners have gone away and did their gift-giving yesterday.

[Darrell Zinck]

Originally Posted by Keith Webb

.....I suspect the owners have gone away and did their gift-giving yesterday....

Best to kick down the front door and check that then, eh?

Nothing like advertising you're away!!!

I'm very much a "Lights on timers, Car in driveway, under-feed the Guard Fish"-type guy.

regards
Darrell