WHY? or alternate title: Can one of you Brits explain this to me?

[rob love]

So here in the colonies, occasionally it comes time to add fuel to a vehicle and a gas station or a fuel bowser are nowhere to be seen. Much like our British brethren, we will use fuel cans in a convenient 5 gallon size to replenish the fuel. To make it easier to get into the fuel neck, occasionally we may use tools such as these:

1) spout, flexible (aka the horsecock); weight approx 1.5 pounds
2) funnel, steel (also available in lighter plastic); weight approx 2-1/4 pounds

[rob love]

But recently I have come into possession of these monstrosities. Weight of the basic item (less the hose and outlet tap) is over 27 pounds. Sure, it neatly folds up in a beautiful British over-engineered manor, but it's just so damn heavy. So can someone explain to me why this contraption exists? I am sure there has to be a good reason.

[Robin Craig]

Dear Rob and others,

This has to be explained as a bit of a private joke between Rob and myself but let us leave that alone for the minute.

To explain his question, the answer is simple, "because we can".

The contraption you show us Rob was designed for rapid filling of big thirsty AFVs by multiple jerry cans by the clever use of physics.

Once a full jerry can is opened and up ended into the filter funnel assembly it self empties as the level drops and allows more fuel out. Just liek the dog water bowl systems you see with a bottle of water above.

It also screens the fuel and prevents debris entering the vehicle fuel system.

It is really for the Centurions and other behemoths that it is best suited.

Quite a fantastically complex device over engineered and over thought out but as mother and father always said "we know best" and that is why you need it.

Or more correctly, why I need it.

Your a blighter Mr Love, I guess we need to have a discussion in private!

That is my explanation.

Let us see what others say.

Regards

Robin

[rob love]

If you look in the photo that has both the collapsible funnel next to the "spout, flexible", one would wonder why they wouldn't just make a horsecock with a larger diameter tube, so as to allow the fuel out more quickly. But then again, I have had the "spout, flexible" come off the can and the fuel rapidly spill down my leg. Something tells me that refueling over the top engine decks of a monstrosity like the Centurian could result in a human torch should the spout come off and the fuel runs all over a hot engine.

Surely the monarchy must have knighted the engineering team that designed and perfected this thing of beauty.

[Lynn Eades]

Batman and Robin, you missed out that it is such a lovely colour and that it can be operated by both left and right handed human torches, along with being able to filter out pound after pound of jerry can interior paint lumps.
The knighthood would likely have gone to someone of a more political appointment.
Doesn't it sometimes make you wonder how "our side" won?
Thanks for posting guys. I had a laugh from each of you.

[Hanno Spoelstra]

It is over-engineered like the Rolls-Royce engines it was supposed to fuel. So it is a matter of keeping up appearances like the British do.

Plus it alleviates the crew from having to hold the excellent German invention while being emptied - it holds two cans sitting upside down emptying themselves so the crew can brew up in the meantime.

All in all a very British piece of kit!

H.

[tankbarrell]

A brilliant piece of kit, I use one on the Sherman.
Like the Bailey Bridge, it is the envy of the civilised world!

[Andy Mitchell]

Really it was cunningly designed to confuse our worthy colonial chums at a later date.

Hiya Rob, great pics of all the carriers.

Andy

[Robin Craig]

Do you see that Rob,

They find us amusing!

Maybe we have hit upon the new next smash hit TV reality show.

"Amazing British Over Complicated Inventions No One Understands"

Just think what other devices we could showcase

1 Universal Carrier steering mechanism

2 Puttees

3 Left handed wheel stud threads

oh the mind boggles

Robin

[rob love]

Personally I would think there are a few components of the FV432 that could also be entered in such a contest of over-engineering.

How about the FV432 5 pound (unit of weight, not cost, as the cost likely runs into the hundreds) hi/lo beam dimmer switch unit. A well built unit which includes a data plate, and a modifications plate, befitting of......well I can't think what it would be befitting of.

Here in North America we simply throw away a bad dimmer switch, not send it to a depot for modifications and overhaul.

I am afraid I do not have photos of this one. I availed myself of FV432 stuff years ago, although there may be a bit of it out in the shed yet.

[rob love]

Originally Posted by Robin Craig

"Amazing British Over Complicated Inventions No One Understands"

Just think what other devices we could showcase

3 Left handed wheel stud threads


Robin

I'm not so sure if that is a British invention or an American one.

I have been surprised a couple times at work to find that someone previously installed the hubs on the wrong wide of an axle, thereby having left studs on the right and right studs on the left. I can only imagine a poor driver with a flat, who already has very little concept of which way to turn a wheel nut, trying to figure something like that out.

[Ed Storey]

I joined the Canadian military just after we replaced the Centurion and Ferret with other AFVs. When talking about British designed military vehicles the RCEME Techs used a couple of rather unflattering sayings which were:

'Made in England, cursed by the world'

'If you cannot buy quality, buy English'

Sadly, I think the second saying now equally applies to some Canadian manufactured items.

[Frank v R]

for me this is more like a case of the Brit that left the horse cock at home and has no other way to fuel up , or it is mislabelled and is in fact a urinal for those that drink to much of that dark Brit ale and have large tummies and can't see where it's going, as for Ed's comment we are just the dummies that buy that junk , look at o ur B- vehicles,

[45jim]

In Gagetown we continued to use these hoppers on the Leopards. We used steel Jerry cans exclusively, dispensed from stinky, leaky 548's. All crew members were instructed to pass cans from hand to hand (no tossing) to reduce the chance of denting the cans and thereby letting loose the inevitable shower of paint chips from the internal coating. Just make sure the hopper doesn't tip over while fueling or you'll be sleeping on a back deck wreaking of diesel for the rest of the ex.

Once we switched to the plastic cans and fuel pods this of course, all went away.

Say what you will about British engineering, only they could invent the boiling vessel. A most welcome and civilized accessory on an AFV and beyond the engineering capability of the boffins in the rest of the known world.

[Ron King]

To refill a near empty Stalwart takes 24 jerrycans.......
This YouTube video about a minute into in shows a hopper.
Think about 2 Jerry's up side down at the he same time in the hopper and how much easier it makes it.https://youtu.be/F2OnZmPwQS4

[rob love]

Originally Posted by 45jim

Say what you will about British engineering, only they could invent the boiling vessel. A most welcome and civilized accessory on an AFV and beyond the engineering capability of the boffins in the rest of the known world.

While in the service I realised that the aircraft were also 24 volt, and the larger ones tended to have galleys to cook food. A quick check of the microfiche discovered that the 24v hotcups (US made) were non accountable and available in the system.

So with that, the coleman stove forever left the MRT, as I could heat up food, the foil ration packs, and even make hot water for shaving or washing up, and it didn't suck the life out of the batteries the way those larger boiling vessels did.

Later, while visiting the same surplus store that these collapsable funnels came from, I spotted a nifty pot that had a 24 volt heating element in it. Picked that up for a very reasonable sum and used it in co-ordination with the hot cup for the remainder of my career.

I think I still have the hotcup and the electric pot somewhere in my old barracks boxes downstairs.

[malcolm erik bogaert]

not getting into a shooting war over this but we british led the world at one time in(over) engineering everything might be a tad over-engineered but it all works...I was in the signal park one day..some guys of the signals troop(reserve unit) bragging about there Bedford MK fitted with massive TX and generator...not pleased when I said I couold do the same with mobikle phone..only much quicker!!!regards to all this may day bank holiday weekend...malcolm

[maple_leaf_eh]

Originally Posted by malcolm erik bogaert

not getting into a shooting war over this but we British led the world at one time in (over) engineering everything might be a tad over-engineered but it all works....

In the Canadian book on the First Gulf War by Jean Morin, Operation Friction, he has some wonderful descriptions of the supply ship. In 1990 there were NATO standards, but for a whole variety of reasons each nation had their own fuel couplings. The HMCS was a refueler, and she had to carry a selection of fittings to fuel the British, American, Canadian, French, Argentinian, Spanish etc. What wasn't shared for the duration, was quickly made up in their shipboard machine shop. After the war some deck ape asked about a particularly impressive piece. The reply was, "'It big, it's brass, it must be British."

[malcolm erik bogaert]

sounds like a woman I used to know!cheers malcolm

[Terry Kowalik]

I have one of those big folding funnels and it really is a nice bit of kit. Unfortunately, it's a little too wide to fit on the side of my Saracen while filling, so I don't get to use it.

Cheers,
Terry

[Philliphastings]

And there I was thinking it was a field latrine...

I better start using mine for it's intended purpose !

Cheers

Phill

[rob love]

Originally Posted by Philliphastings

And there I was thinking it was a field latrine...

...for wide bottom girls

[Lynn Eades]

Just slightly different to the old fashioned "gonophone"

[rob love]

Spotted this today so it made me think of this old thread.

No, it's not a 20 ton bottle jack, it's a grease gun.

I have to wonder why every Brit doesn't have arms like popeye having to use kit like this.

By the way, I am still tripping on two of those funnels every time I go in and out of my workshop. I have no idea where to put them.

[Lauren Child]

I must have missed this thread the first time around.

I've got one of those hoppers as well. The point of them (as I understand it) is to leave 2-3 jerry cans emptying while jumping down to get more - those left stay up-ended in the hopper. It's made quite robust to support the weight.

This makes it quicker and easier to refuel large fuel tanks.

[rob love]

Originally Posted by Lauren Child

I must have missed this thread the first time around.

I've got one of those hoppers as well. The point of them (as I understand it) is to leave 2-3 jerry cans emptying while jumping down to get more - those left stay up-ended in the hopper. It's made quite robust to support the weight.

This makes it quicker and easier to refuel large fuel tanks.

And the purpose of the 25 pound grease gun?

[Richard Farrant]

Originally Posted by rob love

And the purpose of the 25 pound grease gun?

Saves keep filling up a small gun when you have to grease up something like a Ferret or bigger.

I have a similar ex-British army one with a flexible hose instead, which I converted to use for gear oil and it makes the chore of topping up wheel station levels on Ferret, Saracen, Fox, Dingo and so on any easy task. Also jeeps and anything else using gear oil.

[Bruce Parker (RIP)]

Originally Posted by Richard Farrant

Saves keep filling up a small gun when you have to grease up something like a Ferret or bigger.

I have a similar ex-British army one with a flexible hose instead, which I converted to use for gear oil and it makes the chore of topping up wheel station levels on Ferret, Saracen, Fox, Dingo and so on any easy task. Also jeeps and anything else using gear oil.

Defend defend defend.

How difficult would it be to just admit that it's hard wired into the British mind to pass over a dozen simpler designs then latch on to the most complicated, over built and bizarre?

[Lauren Child]

It looks a bit like an Oddy / Andy 5000. If it's doing the same job it's pushing grease at a much higher pressure than a normal grease gun. That would explain the metal tubing.

[Lynn Eades]

Bruce, in Britain's defence, that hideously grotesque, user unfriendly, engineering nightmare, called a grease gun, was probably conceived during a rubber shortage.
Its primary function was to distract German engineers from their work, while they pondered what it was and how to use it.