Things to help my sister?

#1 05-12-04, 07:12

Hi People,

I know that most of you are already aware that my sister Susie (Sharon) was recently diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer (it's spread within her system) when hospitalized for pneumonia. Well, she is currently back in hospital with pneumonia again. That's twice in about a month.

My request is to anyone in here who has experienced lung cancer and this process and knows much of what kinds of suffering happens for the person with this cancer, and what sorts of things can actually help ease pain, and comfort, help, in any way at all, to lighten up any suffering. What has worked for YOUR loved one? Anything I can pass on to her or her immediate family on how best to help her ... anything. Anything to prepare people on what to expect and how to help.

Please everyone, just let me know via PM or email. I don't want to do this in "a thread".

Thank You,

Karmen

#2 29-03-05, 19:20

Hey you people,

I just received a call from my sister Lynne, telling me my sister Susie passed away last night. Just over 3 months since being diagnosed. The cancer progressed extremely quickly thoughout her whole body and I'm very glad she's not suffering anymore. She was ... a lot.

I'm stunned.

Karmen

Mark W. Tonner · #3 29-03-05, 20:34

Sorry to hear of your loss Karmen.
Susie is at peace now.

#4 29-03-05, 20:46

Quote:

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
Sorry to hear of your loss Karmen.
Susie is at peace now.

I know. Thank you Mark.

Karmen

#5 29-03-05, 23:07

Sincerest condolences.

Catherine and Art

#6 29-03-05, 23:12

Quote:

Originally posted by Art Johnson
Sincerest condolences.

Catherine and Art

Thank you both.

Karmen

JD Baillie · #7 30-03-05, 06:57

Carmen,

My most sincere sympathies.

Rgds

JD

Jon Skagfeld · #8 30-03-05, 13:29

Carman

Deepest sympathy from Jon and Betty.

No reply required.

Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP) · #9 30-03-05, 14:10

Now, just have to figure out how to get Karmen out to Winnipeg for the funeral on Saturday. Air Canada wants a thousand bucks one way, Westjet's better but still pricey last-minute.

Anyone know of someone who might be driving out that way (a trucker for instance)?

Jon Skagfeld · #10 30-03-05, 14:22

Don't the airlines still offer a "compassionate" package, where, upon presentation of the death certificate, a refund of some sort is made?

Perhaps you have to specifically ask for that fare structure.

Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP) · #11 30-03-05, 14:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
Don't the airlines still offer a "compassionate" package, where, upon presentation of the death certificate, a refund of some sort is made?

Perhaps you have to specifically ask for that fare structure.

Yeah, 20%, but you have to cough it all up first and apply after the fact. It's a pain in the ass.

DaveCox · #12 30-03-05, 17:41

Karmen, I've only just seen this thread. Please accept sincere condolences from all of us.

#13 30-03-05, 17:44

Quote:

Originally posted by DaveCox
Karmen, I've only just seen this thread. Please accept sincere condolences from all of us.

Hi Dave and Chrissie ... I do, and thank you.

#14 30-03-05, 17:45

JD, JON and BETTY ...

Thank you.

#15 30-03-05, 17:56

Quote:

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
Don't the airlines still offer a "compassionate" package, where, upon presentation of the death certificate, a refund of some sort is made?

Perhaps you have to specifically ask for that fare structure.

Jon, there is no such deal with the airlines. Greyhound bus, yes, and the routine is pay the costs, and present paid for ticket along with a death certificate as proof and you'll be refunded 20% or some such.

We all figured my sister would hang in there a couple or so more months, The beauty is that it was immediate with no suffering or warning. Sounds like she just abruptly "stopped living" painlessly. she had "perked up" enough to socialize some in the last couple of days ... which is why it was so stunning. She's free and at peace. Good.

K.

#16 30-03-05, 21:01

Quote:

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
Hey you people,

I just received a call from my sister Lynne, telling me my sister Susie passed away last night. Just over 3 months since being diagnosed. The cancer progressed extremely quickly thoughout her whole body and I'm very glad she's not suffering anymore. She was ... a lot.

I'm stunned.

Karmen

For all its worth, I misunderstood about the time. It was actually 9:30 (The 29th) yesterday morning, NOT 9:30 the (28th) night before which was also my other sisters birthday, that Susie passed away. It's funny, but I couldn't understand why it uncharacteristacly took so long before I got a call. Now I know. Have been spending much time receiving calls, or doing short ones, from relatives and that helps.

It's funny, but i can't help remembering when i flew here a few months ago. A woman sat next to me on the plane, and I spotted tears in her eyes, and talked to her. She was on her way to her fathers deathbed worried she wouldn't arrive there in time. I held her hand for most of that flight and she talked about her father. I'm glad I was there for her. Its hard to sit alone and in silence with strangers with those momenst.... and hope she made it to the hospital in time.

Comfort ... comes from surprizing places sometimes.

K.

Garry Shipton (RIP) · #17 30-03-05, 22:43

Sorry to here of your loss Karmen.May she rest in peace
Garry

Max Hedges · #18 30-03-05, 22:47

Karmen

Sorry to hear of the loss of your sister, our sincere sympahty is with you.

Max, Kathy and family

#19 31-03-05, 05:07

GARRY and MAX, KATHY and FAMILY ...

I appreciate your caring .... actually ALL of you who have said something here, emailed me, and called.

Just thanks.

Karmen

#20 31-03-05, 18:21

My sisters obituary is in the paper today ... I just want to show you pictures of her, one very young, the other a few years ago.

#21 31-03-05, 18:22

And very young here. I don't recall her age in this photo.

SHARON (aka Susie)

Bill Murray · #22 31-03-05, 23:54

Karmen:

What a beautiful girl and woman she was. Thanks for that.
Sorry I am late in posting but missed yours for some reason.

My thoughts are with you and family as you well know.
My Pat is back in Arizona again with her Step-Dad and it seems to be progressing more rapidly now. Sad to say, I hope he too reaches his new life soon.
Bill

#23 01-04-05, 01:57

Quote:

Originally posted by Bill Murray
Karmen:

What a beautiful girl and woman she was. Thanks for that.
Sorry I am late in posting but missed yours for some reason.

My thoughts are with you and family as you well know.
My Pat is back in Arizona again with her Step-Dad and it seems to be progressing more rapidly now. Sad to say, I hope he too reaches his new life soon.
Bill

I've been thinking about you and Pat and her stepdad a lot Bill, knowing what I do. And yes, I figured you'd be thinking about us too. You know my heart is with you all. Please let Pat know that.

Yes, Susie was always a sweetheart and everyone loved her. She was "everyones friend" and had a big heart, was always active, worked her heinie off constantly, surmounted many hard times, and made the meanest perogies and cabbage rolls too . She had a wonderful singing voice, Country, which she passed onto her daughters especially, had a sense of humour that wouldn't quit, loved jokes (she would have loved all you guys in here) and was a stoic too ... many things. Everytime we were together meant her making me play the clown so she could laugh

something I did well. We also played guitars and sang together. Laughter, above all, is the most remembered and treasured thing!

I understand totally about your hopes that Pat's Step-Dad passes quickly now. I'll hope with you.

Karmen

#24 02-04-05, 03:01

In honour of my sister ...

Alright folks, here is a link to music that is SO back home

... enjoy the many different sounds (I hope)

http://bluegrasscountry.org/

Karmen

Mary King · #25 04-04-05, 10:13

Karmen, I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your sister. Sending my condolences to you and all your family at this sad time. I lost my best friend just before Christmas to a very aggressive type of cancer. I really wish there was some cure for this dreadful disease. The pictures you have posted show a very happy lovely person. I'm sure she will be much missed.
Thinking of you all and sending hugs to all.

#26 04-04-05, 14:50

Quote:

Originally posted by Mary King
Karmen, I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your sister. Sending my condolences to you and all your family at this sad time. I lost my best friend just before Christmas to a very aggressive type of cancer. I really wish there was some cure for this dreadful disease. The pictures you have posted show a very happy lovely person. I'm sure she will be much missed.
Thinking of you all and sending hugs to all.

Hi Mary,

Thanks a lot for your thoughts, and your hugs

Yes, Susie will be much missed.

I'm really sorry to hear you lost your best friend, and sorry to hear how. I know how hard that must have been having been through some of the same with close relatives, especially with our family currently right in the middle of a loss none of us wanted. We lost another cousin not so long ago too. Same thing, different type, she was only 44, so yeah ... I wish cancer could be beat too.

I return your hugs to you and your friends loved ones ... and only wish I could do that in person.

All we have gauranteed is the present in any relationship hey?

Take care,

Karmen

Mary King · #27 07-04-05, 15:24

My friend was that age too Karmen. This terrible disease is no respecter of age. I have also lost 4 family members from October 04 to Jan 05 so I can sympathise with you. Time does help but little things can just catch you out sometimes when you least expect it. We do survive, however, and although we have lost a person we love we still have the memories of these beautiful people.

#28 07-04-05, 16:04

Quote:

Originally posted by Mary King
My friend was that age too Karmen. This terrible disease is no respecter of age. I have also lost 4 family members from October 04 to Jan 05 so I can sympathise with you. Time does help but little things can just catch you out sometimes when you least expect it. We do survive, however, and although we have lost a person we love we still have the memories of these beautiful people.

Good lord, Mary, you and your family must be just absolutely reeling with all the losses so close together! Can't catch the breath between shocks hey? Believe me, I understand "out-of-the-blue" emotional whirls. All you can do is let them happen ... like surf they build, crest, and ease off... they always pass and the feet touch the ground again. It just needs expression. Its natures way of processing and healing. Each "expression" leaves us a little more accepting and adapting and able to "enjoy" memories of the good stuff.

For me, grieving the losses while celebrating the life lived happens together. laughing and crying together. Hmmmm. Very embarrassing when out in public, feeling fine, then all of a sudden uncontrollably crying in front of a bunch of strangers at the grocery store, or some such. Ah well ... walk around with a sign saying ... "I'm only grieving. Leave me alone, eh?"

My thoughts are with you.

hugs ... Karmen

#29 15-04-05, 19:12

Quote:

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
And very young here. I don't recall her age in this photo.

SHARON (aka Susie)

Hi,

This younger looking picture of my sister, well, I thought you'd all be surprized to know she's 27 years old in it! So much younger looking than that.

I was still asked for ID into my late 20's

Karmen

#30 30-03-06, 07:07

Can it really be a year ago today that my sister, Susie, passed on? It still doesn't feel quite "real" to me ... perhaps because I couldn't attend the funeral rituals for that sense of "finality" ... she may be gone from this world, but my relationship with her will always "be". Sisters forever :love:

We've all lost loved ones and it's always such a private and personal thing coming to terms with that.

K.