Aging Perks for us older folks

THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's
operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about
pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors
don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as
a challenge.
14. Y ou quit trying to hold your stomach
in, no matter who walks into the
room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate than
meteorologists and the national weather service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this list.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're It.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and go pee.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical recliners.

....gee... I enjoy many of this perks.